Popular Jokes
One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar, and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer's hoof.
As he handed the reindeer some coins in change he said, "You know, I think you're the first reindeer I've ever seen in here."
The reindeer looked hard at the hoof full of change and said, "Hmmmpf. Let me tell you something buddy. At these prices I'm the last reindeer you'll see in here."
Minners - Live bait.
Misrus - Married woman.
Nar - Opposite of wide.
Nayk - Your head sets on it.
Nup â No.
Orrel - Them hinges need orrel.
Ormy - What the sojers go in.
Pank - A light red color.
Parch - Sit out on the parch and watch the grass grow.
Petition - What separate the rooms.
Poke - A paper bag or sack.
Pokey - What the shurf and deppity puts crimnals in.
Salit - A green vegetable.
Puppet - What the preacher is in.
Purdy - She is purdy as a pitcher.
Purt near - Almost; he purt near caught that greased pig.
Rang - You wear it on your fanger.
Rut - That there tree sure has long ruts.
Rah cheer - I was born rah cheer in town.
Two bees in their hive on a lovely summer day, and one says to the other,
"'Swarm in here, isn't it?"
How many mathematicians does it take to replace a lightbulb?
Pi. 3 screw exactly a radius's length, and the last about-one-seventh screws it in all the way!
Whenever I have to go up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator because one time i was on an escalator and I tripped...
So i was falling for an hour and a half.
Question:
What is a Kentucky Virgin?
Answer:
A really ugly seven year old girl who can run faster than her older brother.
The Vice President and his best friends were out hunting
birds. People in the office knew that the best friend had
some dirt on the vice president. When the vice president
came back from hunting, the guy that owned the hunting place asked, "Where's your friend?" The Vice President started to shake and said, "Oh he's still hunting. I have my animals in this gym bag here." "O.k."
A week later he came back alone. Then when he got to the car the next day a police man was writing a parking ticket. The officer said, "Sorry, sir, but I have to write you a ticket," and glanced at his police partner in his police car. Then the Vice President said, "Ok, let me just unlock the car and I'll be on my
Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
A. Money.
Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After five years your job will still suck.
Q. How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen
donuts.
Q: Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!
Q: What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs?
A: One is a Goodyear, and the other is a great year!
Q: Why do t
A man walks into a bar and throws down a bet. 100 dollars to anyone who can do 100 pushups. A man disappears outside and returns minutes later. "I'll take that bet" the man says, and collapses after 50 pushups. "I don't get it", he says," I just did 150 outside!"
A bank robber in Virginia Beach got a nasty surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his Fruit-of-the-Looms. The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door. "He was seen hopping and jumping around," said police spokesman Mike Carey, "with an explosion taking place inside his pants."
Police have the man's charred trousers in custody...
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