A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches down, pulls out a knife, and lunges at the man. The man backs away and yells "WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?" "Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore do you?" replies the pharmacist. The man says, "No I don't, you jerk; but my wife out in the car still does!"

A man walks into a bar and a drunk is sitting there mumbling something quietly. Curious the man takes the seat next to him. The drunk is mumbling, "Looks like plastic, feels like rubber." While looking at something in his hand. The man asks the drunk if he may see what he means. The man feels the object and says, "It does look like plastic and feels like rubber. Where did you get it?" The drunk replies, "From my nose."

A horse walked into a bar. The barman said, "Why the long face?"

Three men, two brunettes and a blond, are being chased by a tiger through the jungle. They get to a river and have two choices: 1. Get across the river without being eaten by pirannhas or 2. Get eaten by the tiger. They spot a genie and the genie says I can grant you one wish.. The first blond man thinks "I wish I can get across safely." He swims across and makes it without a scratch. The second blond man says "I want to be even smarter than the first man." He climbed onto a raft and paddled across. The brunette thinks "I want to be the smartest of them all". Instantly, he turned into a woman, and she walked across a nearby bridge.

A baby boy was just born. He had all his pieces and looked quite normal, except that he was laughing - I mean laughing real hard. All the doctors and nurses were examining the little guy in front of his worried parents. He just kept on laughing, his tiny fists all closed and tears rolling from his eyes. One at a time, a pediatrician unfolded his tiny fingers to check if his hand was all right, and guess what he found? Scroll down. * * * * * * * * * * * * The birth control pill.

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts. A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" "Why, officer?" asks the blonde. "Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed." "Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus!"

Then there was the model who sat on a broken bottle and cut a good figure.

A young child walks into a corner store and picks up a big box of laundry detergent. The storekeep trying to be friendly says, "Got a lot of laundry to do?" The boy says, "Haha no. I'm actually going to go wash my dog with it." The storekeep says, "Son, that stuff is very powerful. If you use it to wash your dog the dog might become sick or even die!" The boy replies, "Don't worry, he'll be fine." And the boy leaves. The next day the boy returns to buy some candy. The storekeep asks the boy about his dog and how the washing went. The boy replies sadly, "He died..." The storekeep says as gently as he can, "I'm sorry son. But I warned you this might happen if you wash the dog with detergent."

What's the definition of Endless Love? Stevie Wonder playing Ray Charles at Tennis! Endless Love!

A man has just been in a car accident and has severe brain damage. So his sister is called in to take care of his medical decisions. First off, the doctor decides the man needs a new brain since his is so badly damaged. So they need to go find a brain for the transplant. They go down to the basement where all the brains are and there are 3 jars. The doctor points to the first jar and says, "That brain belonged to a woman. It will cost your brother $20 a gram." The doctor then points to the second jar, "That will cost you $40 a gram. It once belonged to one of our female doctors and she was quite a brilliant person." The doctor then points to the third jar and says, "That is a brain that once

Your so stupid you tried to kill a fish by drowning it!