Popular Jokes
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man
give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile
sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw
Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, honey, God is both male and female."
This confuses Little Johnny, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well, God is both black and white."
This further confuses him so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"
At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers nonetheless, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this Little Johnny's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Mom, is God Michael Jackson?"
An old man was in bed with his wife when suddenly he let out a loud fart. He yelled, "7 points!"
His wife looked at him and said, "What the hell are you doing?"
He simply replied, "Just playing bed football."
Ten minutes later the wife let a loud one and said, "Tie game - 7,7."
The husband's competitive side kicked in and he started starting straining... when suddenly he crapped his pants! His wife looks over and said, "Now what's the score?"
He said, "Still 7,7. End of quarter; switch sides!"
A guy walks into a bar wearing a pair of jumper cables around his neck.
The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey buddy, don't try to start anything..."
The United States Treasury has announced they are recalling the new Minnesota quarters.
We are recalling all of the new Minnesota quarters that were recently issued, Treasury Undersecretary said in a press conference Monday.
This comes in the wake of numerous reports to this agency that the quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones, or other coin-operated devices. We believe the problem lies in a design flaw.
The winning design for the Minnesota quarter was submitted by Sven Petersen of New Ulm, Minnesota. Sven commented, "Apparently, da duct tape holding da two dimes ana nickel togedder keeps yamming da coin-slot."
I suggest you sit down and relax before reading this. Your sides will be aching before you finish.
Garden Snakes are DANGEROUS!
Author Unknown
Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes.
A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.
It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.
The husband, who was taking a shower, ran out into the living room naked to see what the probl
Never accept a drink from a urologist, nor a friendly handshake from a proctologist.
There was a man, let's call him Gregory. Gregory was carrying a small box, and he went to another man's house (we'll call him Jebediah) and knocked on the door. When Jebediah answered, Gregory said "I have a proposition for you. Take this box. There is a button inside. If you press the button before I return, someone that you don't know will die. Tomorrow, I will return. If you have pressed the button, I will give you $20,000."
Gregory left the box with Jebediah. Jebediah had to consider what he was going to do. Eventually he decided that he didn't care about the person, and he pressed the button.
The next day, Gregory returned to take back the box. "Well then, I belive that this is yours,
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