A cowboy an indian and a muslim were in an airport waiting for their flight. After some silence the indian says. "Once my people were many, now we are few." Then the muslim says, "My people were many, we are still many," he turns to the cowboy, "Why do you think that is?" The cowboy says, "Maybe that's 'cause we haven't played cowboys 'n' muslims yet.

This is laziness!

To save a tree remove a Bush.

1. Only raise your hand when you want to sharpen your pencil or go to the bathroom. Repeat every ten minutes. 2. Never raise your hand when you want to answer a question; instead, yell, "Ooooh! Oooh! Oooh!" and then, when the teacher calls on you, say, "I forgot what I was going to say." 3. Lean your chair back, take off your shoes, and put your feet up on your desk. Act surprised when the teacher puts all four legs of your chair back on the floor. 4. Drop the eraser end of your pencil on your desk. See how high it will bounce. 5. Drop your books on the floor. See how loud a noise you can make. 6. Hum. Get all your friends to join in. 7. Hold your nose, make a face, and say, "P.U.!" Fa

How to install a wireless security system: Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used work boots, a really big pair. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put a dog dish beside it, a really big dish. Leave a note on your front door that says something like, "Bubba, Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition - back in 1/2 an hr. Don't disturb the pit bulls. They've just been wormed and they are a little edgy."

An 80 year old man who was an avid golfer moved to a new town and joined the local country club. He went to the club for the first time to play, but was told there wasn't anybody he could play because they were already out on the course. He repeated several times that he really wanted to play. Finally, the Assistant Pro said he would play with him and asked how many strokes he wanted for a bet. The 80 year old said "I really don't need any strokes as I have been playing quite well. The only real problem I have is getting out of sand traps." And he did play well. Coming to the par four - 18th they were all even. The pro had a nice drive and was able to get on the green and 2-putt for a par. T

A girl walks into a bar and sits down with her friend. She is feeling down, so she talks to her friend. Her friend says "Go get a beer." She says she didn't want one. Then the friend says "Hey, who said it was for you?" copyright fox corp.

It's 3 a.m. and a couple is sleeping, when suddenly someone knocks on its door. The husband wakes up and goes to see who is disturbing them in the middle of the night. He then sees a young man and when he asks him what he wants, he says furiously, "Please, it's an emergency! I really, really, really need a push!!! Please can you come to help me?" The husband, still angry from his brutal awakening, answers in a very rude way and slams the door on the poor man's face. On his way to his bed he thinks, "Why did I react in such a way? I am a good person and this man could be in a lot of trouble without his car. Maybe I should have helped him...". However, he goes back to sleep. At 4 a.m. anoth

Johnny: "Dad, stop drinking my root beer!!! Do I get free refills?" Dad: "Sure -- I backwashed!"

Teacher: Paul, what is the chemical formula of water? Paul: H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O Teacher: What is this? Paul: Well, you said it is H2O! ------------------------------------------------------- Teacher : Mike, get up! How can you sleep in my class? Mike : I can Mr, if you keep your voice down. ----------------------------------------------------------- Teacher : Where does God live? Little boy : I think he lives in our bathroom. Teacher: Why do you say that? Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?' ---------------------------------------------------------- Teacher: "Annie! stop showing off! Do you think you are the teacher of

Have you seen the current remake of the movie "Cape Fear?" It's about a deranged psychotic who is seeking revenge against a lawyer. The question is, while watching the movie, for whom do you root?

Two Potatoes are standing on a street corner. How do you know which one is a hooker? It's the one stamped I-da-Ho (Idaho potato)