In my college dorm we had one of those irritating type guys who was born with more money than most of us could ever dream of earning, and naturally we resented his Porsche, his boat, and the women who hung all over same. The guy went out of his way to remind us all about his money, car, and especially the women. Most of us were 2 and 3 to a dorm room, but he had a room all to himself at the end of the hall in the dorm. So........ when he took off for an extended weekend, a bunch of us theatre department freaks went to his door, removed the doorknob, plastered over the entire wall at the end of the hall, nailed up new wood molding, painted the entire hallway a new color and changed all the re

A woman was suing a man for defamation of character, charging that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined. After the trial, he asked the Judge, "Does this mean that I can't call Miss Stuart a pig?" The Judge said that was accurate. "Does this also mean that I can't call a pig 'Miss Stuart'?" the man asked. The Judge told the man that he could indeed call a pig 'Miss Stuart' with no fear of legal action. The man then turned to Miss Stuart and said, "Good afternoon, Miss Stuart!"

You might be a redneck if... You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors.

Once upon a time, there lived three balloons - Papa Balloon, Mama Balloon, and Baby Balloon. Baby Balloon would always go to bed in his own room, but would soon sneak into Mama and Papa's bed. When Baby Balloon got a bit bigger, his parents tried to get him to stay in his own bed all night, and Baby Balloon promised that he would, but the very next night he was trying to get in to their bed. However, he found could not quite get in, no matter how he struggled. After a while, he had an idea - he would let a little air out of Papa Balloon! This he did, but still he couldn't fit, so he let some air out of Mama Balloon - but to his dismay, still he couldn't get. In desperation, he then let so

Knock Knock Who's there? Dennis What is Den? My name is Dennis What is Den? Den is like a mini barnyard or a mini house Oh!Anyways who are you? I am Dennis!! I forgot what den is again. ARGH!

There was a king who was very greedy; he ruled a land called Drid. Every day he would take all the money and food the Drids had that day. This had gone on for years and the Drids were sick of it. One day a rabbi walked into the town and saw that all the people were unhappy. He went to a man and asked him what was wrong. The man replied, "Our king takes all of our food and money and we hardly have anything. He lives wealthily while many of us starve." The rabbi pondered thus for a minute and said to the man, "Gather up all your people. I have an idea." Later that night, all the people were gathered in the town square. The man said to them, "You guys need to stand up for yourselves. Have any

An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and began to redesign and build improvements. After a while, they had toilets that flush, air conditioning, and escalators. Everyone grew very fond of him. One day God called to Satan to mock him, "So, how's it going down there in Hell?" Satan replied, "Hey, things are great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God was surprised, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake. He should never have gone down there in the first place. Send him back up here." "No way," replied Satan. "I like having

Yo momma so stupid she got hit by a parked car.

You were so ugly as a baby you were the poster child on the birth control posters.

Yo Mama's so dumb she took a spoon to the Superbowl!

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead all work together in an office building. Their female boss always leaves work early. So one day the brunette says, "Lets skip out early today. No one will notice." So they all leave work early. The brunette goes to a movie, and the redhead goes to a few bars. The blonde though wanted to go home and have sex with her husband. She arrives home and goes into her bedroom where her husband and her boss are having sex. The blonde quietly slips out the door and runs from her house. The next day when the brunette suggested they skip work again the blonde replied, "No way! I almost got caught yesterday."

A man is sitting at his register and a beautiful young women comes in asking to use the bathroom. Even though she is beautiful the man refuses to let her use it. At least until she buys something. So she buys a pack of gum and then asks again. He says, "yes." She comes out a few minutes later, and in her most seductive voice starts talking to him, she slips her finger in his mouth and lets him lick it for awhile. After a while she pops her finger out of his mouth and says, "You're out of toilet paper."