Here are some useless facts that you may enjoy... 1. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched." 2. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag. 3. Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. 4. All of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20. 5. No word in the English language rhymes with month. 6. A coat hanger is 44 inches long if straightened. 7. Canada is an Indian word meaning "Big Village". 8. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt". 9. The word 'byte' is a contraction of 'by eight.' 10. The word 'pixel' is a contraction of either 'picture cell' or 'picture

"Two tone paint work" - Original color and rust. "One careful owner" - But the other nine were clumsy as anything. "10,000 trouble-free miles" - Crashed in the last 20 feet. "Heated rear window" - So you don't get cold hands when push-starting the thing in winter. "Very clean" - Only washed if and when it rains. "Lady owner" - The glove box is full of half-used cosmetics. "Clean interior" - All the rubbish is under the floormats. "Immobilizer" - The gear shift comes off in your hand. "Anti-theft device" - I can let you have a Rottweiler cheap. "Drives beautifully" - ... in a straight line; the steering is all over the place. "Low mileage" - The odometer is on its third time around.

What's black and white and played all over? Black and White (the computer game)

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

An American and Japanese were sitting next to each other on a plane. The American turned and asked the Japanese, "What kind of -ese are you?" The Japanese man answered "I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean." "What kind of -ese are you?" the American repeated. The Japanese was showing obvious confusion. Irritated, the American explained, "Are you Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, what?" "Oh, I'm Japanese." Soon after, the Japanese turned to the American and asked him what kind of -key he was. The American, now annoyed, replied, "What d'you mean, 'key'?" The Japanese asked again, "Are you a monkey, a donkey, or a Yankee?"

Fill in the blank to this odd analogy. Quiz is to quizzical as test is to _______

From an interview with a millionaire: "What is your secret to making money?" "Quite simple. Before entering business I observed that most of the sales profits are generally lost in the handling of complaints and refunds. So I made my decision to try to eliminate these expenses." "I can say that's quite a big task!" "Not for me. I simply started selling parachutes."

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. The friend saw everything but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter

One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches. An altar boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle!" the priest said. "Tell me, where is this man now?" "Flat on his butt over by the holy water!" the boy informed him.

An Irish man walks out of a bar..............Hey, It could happen

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more.

After class ends a 1st grader goes up to his teacher and says, "I don't mean to scare you Teacher but my parents said that if I keep getting bad grades, then..." "Somebody's gonna get a spanking." (nodnod)