If 1/(x-8) approaches ∞ as x approaches 8 from above, then will 1/(x-3) approach ω as x approaches 3 from above?

"One day a friend of mine called me up to tell me he was thinking of buying a computer. This guy is particularly sensitive to criticism and not exactly in the upper echelon of the IQ range, and personally I don't think he should own a programmable VCR much less a computer, but he's a good guy, so I said "good for you." The following conversation ensued: * Him: "Well, I have a couple questions though, that I thought I should ask you, cause you know about those things, right?" * Me: "Yeah, ok, what do you want to know?" * Him: "Well . . . what one should I buy?" * Me: "What do you want to do with it mostly? Play games, word processsing (blah blah blah) . . .?" Twenty minutes

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on HBOS in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 hours Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. Samurai Bank is soldiering on, following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is f

Al Gore is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to the child and says, "What's in the box kid?" To which the little boy says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens." Al Gore laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?" "Democrats," the child says. "Oh that's cute," Al Gore says and he runs off. A couple of days later Al Gore is running with his buddy Bill Clinton and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead. Al Gore says to Bill, "You gotta check this out," and they both jog over to the boy with the box. Al Gore says, "Look in the box Bill, isn't that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey kid tell my friend Bill what k

Yo momma so ugly she went into a haunted house and came out with a job application.

Yo momma's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals..."

What's the definition of bravery? A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!

The bumper sticker on your car reads: "What Would Dawson Do?" In the middle of an exam, you tell the professor you want to use a lifeline. You need to be tranquilized when the cable goes out. In the late evening, you look forward to sitting back and catching the latest informercial. If you're a witness to an argument, you instinctually shout, "Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!" You try to impress the opposite sex by saying, "Hey, I get 120 channels!" Your entire CD collection consists of "Greatest Hits" albums by the decade. You have a gold-plated "clicker." Your intellectual discussions all stem from The Discovery Channel. After 15 minutes of work, you need a two-minute break.

A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor doctor! I can't eat food through my mouth cause it hurts" The doc says "Try eating through your bum, it might help" A few weeks later the doctor sees the man walking down the road in a very weird way, he asks "Why are you walking like that? Are you hurt?" The man replies "No you fool! I'm chewing a toffie"

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?" "There's something wrong with my penis," he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private." The man walked out, waited several minutes and then

The following ad is reported to have gotten numerous calls: SINGLE BLACK FEMALE... Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.. I'm a svelte good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy." Callers found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an eight-week-old black Labrador Retriever.