Computer is very common nowadays and most of the people only know what are the computer short cut keys and buttons. This little list would help you when you are in times of need so that you won't go around saying the wrong things: When you need help: Dont's: Help!!! SOS!!! Do's: F1 When you want to leave: Dont's: cya! bye bye! Do's: Alt + F4 When you are paying for something: Dont's: Hand over your 100 dollar bill Do's: Hand over your pay-pal account and password When you are asking for an address Dont's: Can you give me the address please Do's: Can you give me the url please When you want to find something: Dont's: help me find something Do's: Ctrl + F When you are finding the washro

1. George Washington isn't the first president. He was the first elected president. 2. Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women. 3. It is estimated that millions of trees in the world are accidently planted by squirrels who bury nuts and forget where they hid them. 4. Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel,"Gadsby", which contains over 50,000 words--none of them with the letter "E". 5. Of all the words in the English laguage, the word "set" has the most definitions. 6. A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans. 7. Every 45 seconds, a house catches on fire in the United States. 8. The sun is 330,330 times larger than the Earth. 9. A mole can dig

THE NBA PLAYER ADOPTION PROGRAM NEEDS YOU! With an NBA player's strike against the team owners looming, now is the time for us to show the world just how much we care. It's just not right. Hundreds of basketball players in our very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure salary level! Atrocious! And, as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for several weeks - possibly a whole year - as a result of the strike. But now you can help! For about two thousand dollars a day - that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV - you can help a basketball player remain economically viable during his time of need. Two thousand dollars a day may not seem li

There once was a boy named John. When he was young, he had been given a dog. He did not know what to name it and he opened a book called "The Wonders of the Body." He came across the word "sex" and decided to name his dog after it. After about 20 years, one day, his dog when missing. He went to SPCA and see if they had seen his dog. "What's your dog's name that you are looking for?" the lady at the counter ask. "I am looking for Sex." "But sir, we don't provide those kind of service here, I think you should go somewhere else." "But I need Sex a lot, I can't live without Sex, you can't ask me to go away like that." "I think you've miss understood. This is the SPCA, not some brothel, s

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "The Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just insi

Ghetto Test If the statement is true add the points in parenthesis to your score. Scoring is given at the bottom of the test. 1. You've ever used an album cover or old envelope for a dustpan. (5 points) 2. You've ever put foil on your TV antennas to get better reception. (8 points) 3. You've ever had to use pliers to turn your TV on. (7points) 4. You had to come in the house when the street lights came on. (6 points) 5. You had a candy lady in your neighborhood. (5 + 5 extra points if your house was the candy lady) 6. If you can count more than five police cars in your neighborhood on a daily basis. (3 points) 7. If you ever had to pick your own switch or belt. (3 points for each

THIS IS A TRUE STORY!!! My cousin works as a technical support receptionist at a computer company. This is an actual conversation he had one day: "Hi, I'm having trouble with my computer. It's not working!" "Well, I'll do my best to help you." *gets technical information for computer from caller* "OK, can you press 'Control', then hold down 'Alt' and, then 'Delete'?" "Hey, it's in French!" "What is?" "The keyboard?" "*sigh* Well, can you press..." "Oh, darn, I just noticed, the power's off!" "Well, can you turn it on, please?" "How?" "Press the power button." "Where is it?" "It's normally a big button on the actual computer, not the monitor." "Like the lizard?" "Pardon me?" "

Knock Knock! Who's there? Who who. Who who who? Is there an owl in here?

There are four people on a plane. a guy from england, a guy from france, a guy from texas, and a guy from mexico, all of a sudden the plane starts falling out of the sky. The pilot says "We a losing altitude we need to get rid of some weight. So they throw everything out of the plane, but its still falling. So the english guy says" for the queen" and jumps out, the french guy says" vi va la france" and jumps out. The texan say "for the alamo" he grabs the mexican and throws him out.

A group of young children was sitting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. "Davy, what noise does a cow make?" "It goes moo." "Alice, what noise does a cat make?" "It goes meow." "Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?" "It goes baaa." "Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?" "Errr..it goes.. click!"

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should forward this warning to five friends. If yo

Super Agility: "Oh look, a bullet. Better dodge that!" *mega-jump!* Bulletproof: "Oh look, a bullet. Meh, who cares?" Super Smart: "Eureka! A Bullet! It going 60 MPH will hit me in 5 seconds if it contacts, but there is only a 1 in 7 chance it will hit me, the decimal being 0.1428571429 to the tenth pl-OOOFF!" Which do YOU want? Me: Super Agility. Comment for your choice, but it doesn't have to be one of these.