Popular Jokes
Once upon a time, there was a small family, with a little boy named Harry. They had just moved into a new home. It was tall, creaky, and just the place you would expect to be haunted. But, Harry did not believe in ghosts, or mummies, or witches or any of that stuff.
One day, his parents had to go to the store. They said,"Harry, if you need anything, just call us, or your neighbors." He replied,"I'll be fine." So they left, and Harry was alone. He went to his room, and started to read a book. But, he was interrupted by a little *raprap*. He went downstairs to see if someone was knocking on the door. There was no one there. He heard it again! *raprap* He went back to his room. He heard it a
As we all prepare to start a new year, it is time again to make those ever so important New Year's Resolutions. Here is my list of recent years' resolutions and the revised ones for 2006.
Resolution #1
2003: I will try to be a better husband to Lisa.
2004: I will not leave Lisa.
2005: I will try for reconciliation with Lisa.
2006: I will try to be a better husband to Rachel.
Resolution #2
2003: I will stop looking at other women.
2004: I will not get involved with Rachel.
2005: I will not let Rachel pressure me into another marriage.
2006: I will stop looking at other women.
Resolution #3
2003: I will not let my boss push me around.
2004: I will not let my sadistic boss drive
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed, and driving his partner nuts.
Finally, his exasperated partner said, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"
The guy answered, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Forget it, man. You don't stand a chance in hell of hitting her from here!"
2 blondes are walking in the park and the 1st blonde says, "LOOK! Dead bird!"
The 2nd blonde looks up into the sky and yells "Where?!"
Adam was in the Garden of Eden and was very very lonely. So God decides to build him a friend and lover. He decides to call it a "Woman". So he sets out to work but realizes he'll need to borrow a few parts from Adam, so he goes to Adam and explains the situation. God says "I'll build the perfect companion, she'll cook, clean, take care of your every wish and need and will never nag or complain or be angry at you for no reason. It'll only cost you an arm and a leg."
Adam says "But I need my arm and leg... what can I get for just a rib?"
And the rest is history...
Blond's Letter to Bill Gates
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We
Back in the olden days when Samurai were important, there was a powerful Japanese Emperor who needed a new Chief Samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known world of that time that he was searching for a CHIEF. A year passed, but only 3 people applied for the very demanding position;
1. a Japanese Samurai
2. a Chinese Samurai
3. a Jewish Samurai (You snicker!? It is, apparently, possible!)
The emperor asked the Japanese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be the chief Samurai. The Japanese Samurai opened a match box, and out popped a bumblebee. Whoosh! went his sword, and the bumblebee dropped dead on the ground.
The emperor exclaimed "That is very impre
One day, I had to pick up my ne're do well brother because his car had broken down.
I probably shouldn't have done this, but I wanted to show off my cool new car I got, so I agreed.
I left work at about five o clock and I went to the gas station before I picked up my brother. Of course, after a few bad incidences with the gas station attendants, I discovered that self serve was the way to go, so I pulled up and hopped out of my car.
When I was finished pumping the gas, I pulled out the pump, but I had forgotten to completely let go of the handle, so some gas spilled out onto the sleeve of my jacket .
'Big deal' I thought, and I paid for the gas and got back into the car. Well, something
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