Popular Jokes
2 blondes are walking in the park and the 1st blonde says, "LOOK! Dead bird!"
The 2nd blonde looks up into the sky and yells "Where?!"
What are the three questions most commonly asked by lawyers?
1. How much money do you have?
2. Where can you get more?
3. Do you have anything you can sell?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita really warm place to sleep tonight, it's cold out here.
19. How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
Shine a torch in her ears.
20. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
21. How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
There's white-out on the screen.
How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
There's writing on the white-out.
22. What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
You only have to punch information into a computer once.
23. What do you call four blondes in a Volkswagen?
Far-from-thinking
24. What did the blonde think of the new computer?
She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.
25. Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
(With a rocking
How many gay people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
8, one to screw it in, and seven to stand back and say "Fabulous!"
There's a lovely young woman in New Zealand who is getting her house redecorated. She is walking around the house with the builder, telling him what colors she is thinking of painting the walls.
They go firstly into the dining room, and she says that she'd like it painted a nice lilac color. The builder nods, before yelling out the window, "GREEN SIDE UP!"
They then move into the kitchen. The woman says she was thinking of a pale blue for this room. The builder nods, before again yelling out the window, "GREEN SIDE UP!"
They then continue into one of the bedrooms, and the woman says she wanted this one a yellow color. The builder nods once again, then yells out the window, "
Why should you never ask a blonde to make ice cubes for you?
She'll never remember the recipe.
A little blind rabbit and a little blind snake met each other in the woods one day and, as neither of them could see what species they were so they decided to feel each other and then describe each other so that the rabbit would know what kind of animal he was and the snake would also know what species he was. The snake ran his tongue over the rabbit.
"Why, you are fluffy and soft and have a wet nose," the snake said; "you must be a rabbit."
The rabbit then ran his paws over the length of the snake and said, "Well, you are cold, slimy, scaly and hard .... you must be a lawyer!"
"Dear Mother and Dad,
It has been three months now since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not writing before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read further unless you are sitting down, okay?
Well, then, I'm getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival here is pretty well healed. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get those sick headaches once a day.
Fortunately, the fire in the dormito
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