Visitor : "Knock knock?" Worker: "Who's there?" Visitor : "Doughnut Man." Worker: "Doughnut Man who?" Visitor : "For the last time, do not (doughnut) bother me with your useless 'Knock-Knock' jokes!" Worker: "But you started it!"

Knock-knock Who's there Who Who who I don't know what the heck your talking about but good owl impression.

Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asks her husband - "Darling, honestly, if you didn't know me, what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully, Andy replied,... "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five." "Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. Just as she was about to tell Andy his reward, he stops her by saying... "WHOA, hold on there sweety!" Andy interrupt

A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you. Love, Becky. The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There

Q: How many FBI agents does it take to change a light bulb? A: I'm afraid that you are not able to receive this classified information.

So, this guy, Bill is sitting in a bar and pulls out this tiny little piano and a little guy about a foot tall. The little guy sits down and starts playing the piano quite beautifully. The fellow on the next bar stool, Joe, says 'That's amazing. Where did you get him?' Bill answers 'well, I got this magic lamp with a genie.' So Joe asks 'that's great, could I use it?' Bill says 'sure ' and hands him the lamp. Joe rubs the lamp and out comes the genie. He continued, 'I want a million bucks'. Suddenly the room is entirely filled with quacking ducks! Joe exclaims 'Hey! I asked for 1 million BUCKS! Not DUCKS!' Bill explained. 'Yes, the genie is a bit deaf. You don't think I really asked

GAT (Gangsta Aptitude Tess) The following exam was administered as an Ebonics version of the SAT 1) You just robbed som jack mo fo with $20 in his wallet. You can buy: A dime and two 40's B. A new pair of Fila's C. Dashikki down the block D. Yo mama 2) It's tha end of da monf again and da man is on your jack for da rent. You: A. Bust a cap in his ass B. Say, "Shit man, why you all up in ma bidness?" C. Have anuther kid on welfare D. Yo mama 3) You and ya holmes are banging down da block when yall scam da uther mo fo's commin your way. If ya both jaking your hydros, and both yall draw yur gats, which of da following happens: A. Shit goes down in da hood B. Ya chec

The bandage was wound around the wound. The farm was used to produce produce. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse We must polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. I did not object to the object. The insurance was invalid for the invalid. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. They were too close to the door to close it. The buck does funny things when the does are present. A seams

Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo? A: A jump rope

There were 3 tomatoes. A momma tomato, a papa tomato, and a baby tomato. The baby tomato started to fall behind and the papa tomato called over to him and said, "Ketchup!"

Knock Knock! Who's there? Yo da lay he. Yo da lay he who? I didn't know you could yodel!

(I know some people may not consider this a joke but it is still funny, the results at the bottom are funny to! ENJOY!) Intelligence Test Instructions: Write each of your answers down, it makes a difference! You will be allowed 10 minutes to complete the test. Write your answers in the spaces provided. Are you ready? What is the time? Start. 1) Some months have 30 days,some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days? ____________________ 2) If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it be before all the pills had been taken? ____________________ 3) I went to bed at eight o'clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set