Why did Richard Nixon become President? Everyone called him Dick! They judged him by his name!

How do you know when you've had enough sex? When you die from AIDS!

"This storm is bad," Bob thundered.

A book never written: Becoming a Better Artist by N.O. Creativity

A book never written: L.O.L. (lots o' logs) by P. Lumyum

A book never written: Yellow Rivers by L. O. Tsoftea

A teacher is telling her class she has two words that will not be allowed to use. Teacher: There are two words which I will never let you use. One is gross and the other is cool. Student: So what are the words?

How many football players does it take to change a lightbulb? The whole team - and they each get a semester scholarship for it.

Here is a book never written. Extinction is Distinction by Dinah Soar

What bird can't fly as high as you can jump? A bird in a cage.

Which candles burn longer, the candles on a girl's cake or a boy's cake? No candles burn longer. They all burn shorter.

A doctor one day was accidentally cut rather badly on the leg. He went to an operating theatre and started to stitch his own leg up, using a local anaesthetic. While doing this, a colleague came into the room, and offered to help. The first doctor thanked him, but said he would carry on himself. The second doctor said, "Ok, suture self!"