Dear God, The bad people laughed at Noah - "You made an ark on dry land, you fool". But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do. – Eddie Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want You to know but I am not just saying that because You are God already. – Charles Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. That was cool! – Eugene Dear God, In Sunday School they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? – Jane Dear God, I read the Bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me. Love, Allison Dear God, Are you really invisible or is that a trick? – Lucy

The Declarizzle of Independence of tha Thirteen Colonies In CONGRESS, July 4, 1776 The unanimous Declarizzles of tha thirteen united States of America, W-H-to-tha-izzen in tha Course of human events, it becomes necessary fo` one thugz ta Dissolve tha politizzles bands which hizzle connected thizzem wit motherfucka n ta Assume among tha powa of tha earth, tha separate n equal station ta whizzay The Laws of Nature n of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect ta tha Opinions of mankind requires that tizzle should declare tha causes which impel Them ta tha separizzles. We hold these truths ta be self-evizzles that all men is created equal, that They is endowed by they Creator wit cert

What's worse than 10 babies in one dumpster? 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.

How do you keep a Michigan State Player out of your yard? Set up a goal post.

byuuyntfifgjrfnbrft9tn ...told you so.

How do you confuse an Irishman? Line 4 shovels up against a wall and tell him to take his pick.

Why did the Irish people jump on the bartender? He said, "The drinks are on me."

4 Mexicans are in a car. Who is driving? A policeman. What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak. There is a Mexican, a French, a Italian, and an American. Their boat was getting too heavy so they decided to throw off some cargo. The Frenchmen tossed off a bottle of wine. All the others yelled, "What are you doing?" He replied, "We have too many of these in our country." Next, the Italian threw off a pizza. All the others yelled, "What are you doing?" He replied, "We got too many of these in our country." After that the Mexican threw off a bunch of tacos. All the others yelled, "What are you doing?" He replied, "We have too many of these in our country." Finally,

A little girl went into the barber shop to get a haircut. When the barber was cutting her hair he realized she was eating a little debbie snack. He said, "Sweetie, you're going to get hair on your twinkie." The little girl answered, "I know, and I'm going to get boobs, too."

A pregnant woman was taking a shower and her three year old daughter said,"Mommy, you're getting fat!"And the mother replied,"That because a baby is growing in my tummy."To which the daughter said,"Yeah,but what's growing in you butt?"

Three men were engineers checking a bridge when out of nowhere this masked man pointed a gun at them and said ,"If you want to live,you'll jump off the bridge and you'll survive."Well,the gunman turned around to take his mask off and when he turned around the engineers saw it was a construction worker."April Fools!"he yelled out as water shot out from the"gun".The first engineer looked at him and said,"Tell that to the man who jumped when you had turned around."

One day a man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any corn?" and the bartender says, "No, we only sell beer." The next day the man walks into the bar again and asks for corn but this time the bartender says, "Hey, you are the guy that asked for corn yesterday? If you ask for corn one more time i will nail you to the wall!" The next day the man goes into the bar again and asks, "Do you have any nails?" and the bartender says, "No," so the man says, "Do you have any corn?"