Category Jokes -
Two women were sitting beside each other in the airport.
"Where are you flying to?", the woman on the right asked.
With an attitude, the other replied "You should never end a sentece with the word 'to'".
"Ok", said the woman on the right. "Where are you flying to, bitch?"
A man went to a psychiatrist and explained his problem. "Two weeks ago I had a dream that I was a tippee. Then, the next day, I dreamt I was a wigwam. In my next dream, I was a teepee again, and this has been happening the whole too weeks! What's wrong with me, Doc?".
"It's simple. You're just two tents".
Two scientists were discussing their latest behaviour-modification research. "We've started something new," said the first scientist. "For some of our more dangerous experiments, we're now using lawyers."
"Lawyers?" questioned her colleague. "But we've always used rats."
"Well, you know how it is. You get so attached to the rats."
My sister gave birth in a state-of-the-art delivery room. It was so high tech that the baby came out cordless!
Q. How many car salesmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A. I'm just going to work this out on my calculator, and I think you're going to be pleasantly surprised.
Patient: Doctor doctor, J keep seeing doubles!
Doctor: Please take a seat.
Patient: Which one?
One time, when I was a kid, I forgot to do my homework, so I stole someone else's and turned it in. After class, the teacher pulled me over. She asked why I didn't turn in the homework. I said, guess I forgot to change the name on it!
I had four cappuccinos at one time. I was bouncing off the walls. Good thing they were padded.
I didn't mean to agitate the police officer. Water balloons are good fun, but he had to get all mad. Then he grabbed that metal baton thingy. That's a lot less fun than a water balloon. I even said "think fast!" He didn't say that to me when he used the baton on my face.
Why is boxing a sport? If I beat someone up in an alley and someone sees it, I get arrested. If I beat someone up in an arena where thousands see it happen, I get cheered. I've done both. I like the alley better though.
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