While reading a newspaper, Morty came across an article about a beautiful actress marrying a football player who was not noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "Why do the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear."

Yo mamma smells so bad, when she went into the enchanted forest, all the skunks commited suicide!

What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

You're like school on Saturday... NO CLASS!

Have you heard about camping? It's intense. (In tents!)

A farmer and his son live on a farm in the middle of Nowhere, USA. One day the farmboy says to his father, "I'm bored." His father replies, "What are you talking about? Farm life is great!" He then adds, "However, I will admit, it is a little slow though. Nothing much to do except count the bricks in the silo." To this the boy says, "11,827."

How do you catch a unique rabbit? You nique up on it! How do you catch a tame rabbit? The tame way!

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A licalottapus!

One lesbian said to the other, "I'll just be Frank with you," ...and the other said, "Ok, you be Frank today and I'll be Frank tommorrow."

What do you call two Chinese queers? Two can chew!

There was this blonde who had taken up golf for a long time. When she was ready to play, the 1st round she came back in 20 minutes and told the pro she was stung by a bee. He asked where. She said, "Between the first hole and the second hole." He said, "Sounds like your stance is too wide."

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left him!