Category Jokes -
Mystery
All my life has been a mystery
You and I were never ever meant to be
Thats why I call my love for you... a mystery.
Different country
You and I have always lived in different countries
And I know that airline tickets don't grow on a tree
So what kept us apart is plain for me to see
That part at least, is not really much of a mystery.
Estuary
I live on a houseboat on an estuary
Which is handy for my work with the port authority
But I'm sure you would have found it
Insanit-ery
Insanit-ery
Headed me
I am foolish to ignore the possibilty
That if we actually met, you might have a taken a really violent dislike of me
But thats not the only problem I can see
Dead since 1993
You've been
A man's mother-in-law moves in with him. About two weeks later, he comes home and discovers her lying on the floor of the living room. He calls 911 and they send the ambulance over, and the ambulance rushes the woman to the hospital. The man is pacing the waiting room. A doctor finally comes out to speak with him.
The doctor says, "I have good news, and bad news."
The man replies, "Well, tell me the good news first."
The doctor says, "Your mother-in-law sustained a major heart attack, but she didn't die. In fact she will probably live another 20 to 30 years. She unfortunately lost her ability to speak, and she will make this awful screeching and squawking noise, like a parrot. She has al
Your mamma is soooo ugo...
When you look in the mirror you die of fright, as you look just like her.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before problems start!" Again, the man orders a beer again saying, "Give me a beer before problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Ah, now the problems start!"
One night, a few co-workers at the computer data centre stayed late and all started to feel hungry. They decided to order in food by phone, but their boss thought that, since they worked with computers, it would be more appropriate to order by Internet. After they contacted a fast food chain's web site and spent a long time registering as new customers for the delivery service, a message appeared on the screen: "Thank you for your business. You will be able to order food in three days."
A little boy wrote this letter to his grandmother:
Dear Grandmother,
I'm sorry I forgot your birthday last week. It would serve me right if you forgot mine next Tuesday.
With love,
Mike
Phone won't stop ringing?
Here's what you do -
Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem, but unlike most people she did something about it.
The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened nearby and had acquired almost the same telephone number as Leola.
From the moment the motel opened, Leola was besieged by calls not for her. Since she had the same phone number for years, she felt that she had a case to persuade the motel management to change its number.
Naturally, the management refused claiming that it could not change its stationery.
The phone company was not helpful, either. A number was a number, and just because a customer was getting someone
It was the first day of school and this girl's teacher asked her what her name was. She said "Texas." The teacher said, "Haha, no really, what's your name?" and the girl said, "Texas," so the teacher said, "Go to the principal's office."
The principal said, "What's your name?" She replied, "Texas." He said, "Funny, what's your name?" and she said, "Texas," so he sent her home.
As Texas was walking home, a guy stopped her and said, "What's your name?" She said, "Texas." He said, "That's funny. No, really, what's your name?" She said, "Texas." He said, "I will stab you with my mother's butcher knife if you don't tell me what your real name is," and she said, "IT'S TEXAS!" so he stabbed her. Wh
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