Knock, knock. Who's there? Esther. Esther who? The Esther Bunny. Knock, knock. Who's there? Stella. Stella who? Stella nother Esther Bunny. Knock, knock. Who's there? Samoa. Samoa who? Samoa Esther Bunnies. Knock, knock. Who's there? Consumption. Consumption who? Consumption be done about all these Esther Bunnies? Knock, knock. Who's there? Esther. Esther who? Esther anyone else as sick of this joke as I am?

How many mathematicians does it take to replace a lightbulb? Pi. 3 screw exactly a radius's length, and the last about-one-seventh screws it in all the way!

One day St. Peter visited Hell to make certain that the sinners were being adequately punished. During his tour he noticed that Hitler was standing in feces up to his chin. Surprisingly, the Fuhrer was smiling. "I don't understand," sasid St. Peter. "How can you smile when you'll be spending all of eternity in excrement?" Hitler replied, "I'm smiling because I'm standing on Mussolini's shoulders."

Did you hear about the blind man who went bungee jumping?? V V V V V V V V V V V V V V He loved it, but it scared the heck out of his dog.

Virginity is like a balloon. One prick and it's gone!

Whenever I have to go up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator because one time i was on an escalator and I tripped... So i was falling for an hour and a half.

Q: What type of storage units do underwater computers use? A: Trilo-bytes

On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday ca$h I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting mad at me. Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go." Server: "Is that it?" Me: "Yep." Server: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?" Me: "No, it's *to* *go*." [I hate effort duplication.] At his point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny and Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back." He goes to talk to his manager, who is stil

A man comes to dinner at a new friend's house. While they eat, the new friend's small son keeps staring at the guest. Finally, the guest says, 'Why are you staring at me like that, young fellow?' The kid says, 'Daddy told me you were a self-made man.' 'I am.' 'Well, why did you make yourself like that?'

Presidents on a sinking ship! Ford says: "What do we do?" Bush says: "Man the lifeboats!" Reagan says: "What lifeboats?" Carter says: "Women first!" Nixon says: "Screw the women!" Clinton says: "You think we have time?"

Question: What is a Kentucky Virgin? Answer: A really ugly seven year old girl who can run faster than her older brother.

All you see in the sports media nowadays is the fact that athletes are taking steriods and other performance enhanceing drugs to become stronger and faster. So instead of going out and buying a new car I put some steriods in the gas tank.... I wonder if I will get the same result?