Submit a joke = I'm a but jokes That's so stupid = Sadist puts hot .................................. Bonus jokes with my fur = Joy! Swift knob humerus let's hear a joke = Jerk tease halo (If you guys want that I anagram a sentence you like then post it on the comment box. But only from 7 letters to 30 letters!)

Teacher: Julia, how can you say Asshole in a nicer way? Julia: As holes.

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff!

How do you know if a 500-pound man is a millionaire? (That's 500-pound fat, not muscle.) Because he will have a totally hot, blonde, babe on his arm.

Yo momma's so fat that when she got into an elevator, she exceeded the weight limit. I wonder how many it took to get her in there in the first place?

"They misunderestimate me." -Nov. 6, 2000 "Rarely is the question asked: Is out children learning?" -Jan. 11, 2000 "I aim to be a competitive nation." -April 21, 2006

Drink apple juice, because O.J. will kill you. (O.J. = Orange Juice)

Knock-Knock Who's There? Well Water Well Water Who? Well Water You Waiting For? Open The Door And Let Me IN!!!!!!

Mrs. Biddle was walking down the street one day carrying a small box with holes punched in the top. "What's in that box?" Mrs. Riddle asked. "A cat," Mrs. Biddle answered. "What for?" "I've been dreaming about mice at night, and I'm scared of mice. The cat is to catch them." "But the mice you dream about are imaginary," said Mrs. Riddle. Mrs. Biddle turned to her friend and whispered, "So is the cat."

Hillary Clinton noticed that she was unusually hungry, having stomache pains, and hasn't had her period for 2 months. She decides to go a doctor to get checked out. The doctor returns with the diagnosis that she is indeed pregnant. As you can imagine, the first thing she did was call her husband, Bill Clinton. "Honey, I have some news for you. You got me PREGNANT." After a few minutes, Bill's voice comes back on the line. "Don't panic. I will sort this out, but first I need to know who you are." *This is not true*

One day a man was walking down the road and saw the priest also walking. Since he knows the priest usually rides a bike he asks where it is. "Well, I woke up this morning and couldn't find it," he replies. "Oh. Well, here is an idea. When you go over the Ten Commandments in your sermon this morning, bear down real hard on Thou shall not steal. Then, whoever took it will feel guilty and give it back." "Great idea!" Well, that afternoon the man sees the priest riding his bike. "I see they gave it back to you. I knew my idea would work!" he says. "Well, actually I went through the Ten Commandments like you said, but when I got to Thou shall not commit adultery, I remembered where I left m

A blonde and a brunette jump off of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Who lands first? \ / \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.