One day there was a blonde, brunette, and a red-head. (How often do ya hear that? A lot!) The brunette said, "Wanna go out for a bite?" "Sure," said the blonde. A guy walked down the street and the blonde said, "I call him!" The blonde went and got him to bite her. "Why did ya do that," asked the brunette? "I got a BITE."

When all the national leaders met with Bush... Germans make your candy, said Germany's leader, We abuse it, said Bush. Holland makes your remotes, said Holland's leader We'd die without those, said Bush. Italy and Mexico bring in great food, said Mexico & Italy, We stuff ourselves with it, said Bush. Japan makes your video games, said Japan's leader; Our kids and dads love it, said Bush. China makes all the rest, said China's leader, Bush said, AMEN. WHAT DO YOU MAKE? said all but Bush, Bush took them to a farm, He took them to a sleping bull. The bull had a turd next to it. It said "Made in America", Bush told them America makes bull****

10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to." 8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!" 7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm." 6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance." 5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?" 4. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." 3. "The coffee machine is broken." 2. "Someone must've

Hi, this is Johan advising you that you spend WAY too much time on the phone. GO OUTSIDE... See the world, LIVE a little... Have fun.

An anagram, as we all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following examples are quite astounding! Dormitory - Dirty Room Desperation - A Rope Ends It The Morse Code - Here Come Dots Slot Machines - Cash Lost in 'em Animosity - Is No Amity Mother-in-law - Woman Hitler Snooze Alarms - Alas! No More Z's Alec Guinness - Genuine Class Semolina - Is No Meal A Decimal Point - I'm a Dot in Place The Earthquakes - That Queer Shake Eleven plus two - Twelve plus one Contradiction - Accord not in it The Public Art Galleries - Large Picture Halls, I Bet Astronomer - Moon Starer This one's amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare] To b

Yo mama is so fat . . . Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up. Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo". Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. Yo mama so fat we're in her right now. Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise. Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone. Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for condors. Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her . . . Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world. Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy. Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop! Yo

Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes. Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends. Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon. Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitimate" because she couldn't read. Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind. Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl. Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes! Yo mama so stupid that she tr

Yo mama is so greasy Yo mama so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid! Yo mama so greasy she sweats Crisco! Yo mama so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her

Yo mama is so skinny Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio Yo mama so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex. Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and disappeared.

Yo momma so lazy, she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs. Yo momma so lazy, she's got a remote control just to operate her remote! Yo momma so lazy, she came in last place in a recent snail marathon.

Yo momma's head so small, she use a tea-bag as a pillow. Yo momma's head so small, she got her ear pierced and died.

Yo mama is so poor Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving." Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention! Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush! Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers! Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!" Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp. Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."