An elderly lady went to a butcher's shop one day, and noticed that on the liver in the window were two white balls. Being of a curious nature, she asked what these white balls might be, to be told that they were golf balls, and that placing them on the liver kept them supple. She returns the following week, when there were four of these white balls lying on the liver. "So you've shot another golfer, then?"

Note: Most of these will only work in middle or high school. 1. When the bell rings, run out the classroom and when the hall is crowded, yell "MARCO!" See who answers. 2. If you're in biology doing a lab, drop some water into a beaker and then duck under your desk screaming "IT'S GONNA BLOW!" When everyone stares, just say "Oh, my mistake." 3. Run to your next class randomly pointing at different people. At the top of your lungs, scream "WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME? LEAVE ME ALONE!" 4. Randomly bust a dance move every now and then. 5. Write notes to classmates saying, "I need you for a top secret mission. Write back accepting or declining my request. This message will explode in ten second

There once was a man from Rangoon Whose farts could be heard on the moon; When you'd least expect 'em They'd burst from his rectum With the force of a raging typhoon!!

Yo momma is so ghetto, both she and her dog have weave.

101 Hot 'n' Spicy Meals by Tung Payne

A fortune teller escaped from prison and became a small medium at large.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you A-flat minor.

Have you ever noticed people who cough/sneeze/do just about anything they can to spread their germs to everyone and everywhere? Well basically their theory is make germs like forwards. Try to get them around the world in 40 days or less. Lets try to get rid of these people rather then the avian virus before there is an epidemic. So to all those classmates who sit behind you and refuse to covertheir mouths-Good day to you all. In the words of Tiny Tim "and to all a good night."

Yo momma is such a whore... She gets more ass than a toilet seat!

A man, traveling by plane, was in urgent need of a restroom facility but each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant's ladies' room, but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons. There next to the paper roll were four buttons marked: WW WA PP ATR Making the mistake soooo many men make, of not listening to a woman, he disregarded what she said when his curiosity got the best of him. He carefully pressed the WW button and a gentle flush of Warm Water sprayed on his bare bottom. He thought "Wow, these gals really have it nice!" So a little more boldly he pressed the WA button and body

What is green and yellow and eats nuts? GONORRHEA

Yo Momma so fat, when she fell on the ground, I tried not to laugh, but the ground was cracking up!