Bloke stayed up all night, wondering where the sun had gone; then it dawned on him.

Q:How many egotists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just one. He holds up the lightbulb while the rest of the world revolves around him.

My brother and I were sitting at the computer reading the daily teaser from the past week. I read the last one (April 30th 2006) and my sister(who is a blonde) walks in to get a drink. I'm reading a line that says:"But, madam!", replied the bellman, and my sister walks up behind me and says "What did you call me?!" and I say, "Well I didn't call you any thing. I was reading this joke and she says, "Oh well I thought you were calling me a damn bitch!"

My home town is so small, we have part-time village idiot.

Yo momma is like a lollipop, she is round and has been licked by everyone

Yo momma is so stupid, she thought Fruit Punch was a gay boxer

Yo Momma is so dumb, she was on her way to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left" so she turned around and went home

Yo Momma is so stupid, she has a peep hole in the glass door!

Yo momma is so short, she stepped in a puddle and drowned.

Yo momma is so poor, she has never seen 50 cent--and ! ain't talkin about the rapper!

1.) Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. 2.) A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. 3.) Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. 4.) For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. 5.) Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover. 6.) Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. 7.) Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory. 8.) Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night. 9.) We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it care

It was about a month ago when a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so went to his priest: "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin." "But I made him agree to pay me 20 Gulden for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..." "What is that, my son?" "Do I have to tell him the war is over?"