Farmer: This is a dogwood tree. Cityman: How can you tell? Farmer: By its bark

Knock, knock. Who's there? Isabel. Isabel who? Is-a-bel ringing? I thought I heard one.

Yo mama so fat, when she breast-fed you, you drank bacon grease.

What did Puffy say when Ben asked him about J-LO ? "Take that, take that"

How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Wizards don't use lightbulbs!

What math term tells what acorns say when they are a tree??? Geometry!! (Geo-m-e-try) (Gee I'm a tree)

Your dad is Santa Claus and your mom is A HO HO HO!

-Knock Knock! -Who's there? -You know. -You know who? -Thats right, avada kedavra!

I love it when you go down on me... you relieve so much tension and stress... but when you're making me feel really good, you come back up... Stupid gas prices...

The other day I went to a zoo, but the only animal there was a dog. It was a shihtzu.

Yo momma's so fat she should get cingular on her stomach so she can get rollover minutes.

Paddy:- "Hello, is that 77 77 77? Can you call 911, my finger is stuck in the 7"