Boy(howling): A crab just bit my toe! Father: Which one? Boy: How should I know?!?!?! All crabs look alike to me!!

'How long will the next bus be?' 'About eighteen feet.'

Teacher: Can you name four animals of the cat family? Mary:Mother cat,Father cat,and two kittens.

Doctor: Mrs Smith, you have acute angina. Mrs. Smith: I came here to be examined, not admired.

Teacher: If you found five pence in one pocket and ten pence in the other,what would you have? Willy: Somebody else's trousers.

Jesus walks into an inn puts 3 nails on the counter and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?"

An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed options with his doctor. The doctor said, "We have three possible donors. The first is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident. The second is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The third is an attorney who died after practicing law for 30 years. Which do you want?" "I'll take the attorney's heart," said the patient. After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why he had chosen the donor he did. "It was easy," said the patient, "I wanted a heart that hadn't been used."

What kind of triangle is never wrong??? A right triangle!!!!!!!

What kind of trouble does a five foot man have??? Five feet!!!

Yo Momma's so fat she's fatter than you

Q: What is a cat's favorite game? A: Go Fish!

Yo momma is so dark, she's not afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of her.