If a guy is a "chick magnet", and opposites attract, doesn't that make him gay?

10) Hum or sing when ever possible. 9) Always chew with your mouth open. 8) Pretend to fly around the room. 7) Have fights with your imaginary friends. 6) At school, fall asleep in every class. 5) When people turn around, make faces. 4) Scream every 10 minutes. 3) Tell every one you have a twin and then pretend to be the twin. 2) Say, 'I don't know.' when you are asked a question, no matter what the question is. 1) Tap your pencil on every surface.

One day my cousin says, "Oh, I love your hair. Show me how you do it!" "OK," I reply. "OK?" my cousin says; "you're not supposed to say OK! You're supposed to have a temper tantrum and scream, 'No! It's MY secret and I'm not going to tell you!' OK?" "You're just being stupid as usual. Leave me alone." Little cousins. *SHISH!* A few weeks later she comes up to me and says, "I like your make-up. Can you show me how to do make-up?" "You're too young," I reply. Now she's got the hissy fit going on (AGAIN). "I am NOT TOO YOUNG! Show me how to do make-up or I'll bite myself than tell Mama you did it like all those other times I said you bit me!" She yells. I turn around and say, "Too L

You momma is so stupid, she went to the Clippers game to get a haircut!

A blond in a mathematics test encountered this problem Find X This was her answer i i \ i \ 14.6578i \ i \ X________ Here it is i \ i \ i \ i \ i_________\ 12.76

Amy: Yesterday I saw a man in the mall with very long arms. Every time he went up the stairs he would step on them. Bob: Wow... He stepped on his arms? Amy: No. On the STAIRS!

Question: If the world was a jacket where would the people from the ghetto go? Answer:In da Hood!

You Might Be a Redneck if you have a pond full of gasoline and a car wreck in the bottom of it.

Why don't niggers like dirt bikes? Because when it starts, it says: "Run nigga nigga run."

Cat Lover or not, this is hysterical! We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the

A baby was born that was so advanced that he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor. "Are you my doctor?" he asked. "Yes, I am." The baby said, "Thank you for taking such good care of me during birth." He looked at his mother and asked, "Are you my mother?" "Yes, I am," she said. "Thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born," he said. He then looked at his father and asked, "Are you my father?" "Yes, I am," his father answered. The baby motioned him to come closer, then poked him on the forehead with his index finger 5 times, saying, "I want you to know that THAT HURTS!"

Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question, but it will make you think. It is as it reads: No one I know got the answer right---including me. The scenario.... A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a man she didn't know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy, that she believed him to be just that! She fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and couldn't find him. A few days later she killed her sister. Question: What is her motive in killing her sister? (Give this some thought before you answer). Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at a