Yo momma is so poor, that when I went to her house, a roach tripped me and a rat took my wallet.

Yo momma is so fat, that when she fell in love , people wern't laughing but the floor was cracking up!!!

Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops. Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card. "One time I was with Norris in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Norris goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Chuck Norris! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'ChuckNorris' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'" People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later. When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norri

Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it. Chuck Norris was once a knight in King Arthur's court. He was known as Sir Beatdown. Chuck Norris once played rugby by himself. He went undefeated. In Desert Storm the reason why the Iraqi army surrendered so quickly because they knew Chuck Norris was coming. Chuck Norris has never looked a baby in the eyes cause it might him cry but if he does it also makes him want to punch a baby. Chuck norris doesnt go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of Norris Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet. Before sliced bread, people used to say "Th

Chuck Norris stared evil in the face, and it backed down Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands. On the SAT if you put Chuck Norris for every answer you will score over 8000 The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Chuck Norris When Chuck Norris spits out watermelon seeds, he puts a machine gun to shame Chuck Norris doesn't use after-shave, he uses hot liquid magma. When Chuck Norris found this web-site while surfing the internet, he round house kicked his computer...10 new facts were added instantly, including this one You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink, unless you're Chuck Norris No matter what your m

Chuck Norris eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow. Chuck Norris does know what Willis is talking about! Chuck Norris don't open no can of whoopass. He makes his own. Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit. Chuck Norris's body temperature is 98.6 degrees... Celsius. The world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and Chuck Norris. The active ingredient in Red Bull is Chuck Norris's sweat. The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Chuck Norris' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly button, his liver, and his beard. When Chuck Norris goes to Vegas, he doesn't

Chuck Norris invented the question mark. Chuck Norris trick-or-treated as himself as a child. Chuck Norris has 3 knees on each leg. Chuck Norris likes long walks on the beach, Barry White music, Harlequin romance novels, songbirds, rainbows, and quiet time with his lady...just before he roundhouse kicks her in the face. Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds. If you gave Chuck Norris a typewriter and 0.000000000000000000001th of a second he can write the Complete Works of Shakespeare Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter. Chuck Norris' beard hair is believed to be an aphrodisiac in China. The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse

One day a man is up on his soap box telling blonde jokes. A large crowd has gathered around him and are laughing hysterically at every line, most of which he probably took off of this website. A blonde walks up to him and starts yelling at him, "You know, not all blondes are as dumb as you make us out to be." Taken aback by this he says, "Fine. If you can answer three questions, I'll pack it up and never tell another blonde joke." She agrees and he starts the questioning. "Ok, I'll give you an easy one first. What are the colors of the flag of the United States of America?" "That's easy," she replies, "Red, white, and blue." "Not bad, I've had some blondes screw that one up. OK, next ques

If you have more pets than relatives you just might be a redneck.

Q - Why is there a big "E" on top of the standard eye chart at the optometrist's office? A - The reason is if there was a big "O" on the chart women would lie about seeing it.

Q - What do barbed wire and a thong have in common? A - Both protect the property, but neither obstruct the view.

Why do men pick their noses while driving? Because their butts are too hard to reach!