Category Jokes -
Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving.
Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.
"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."
Amazed, the driver asked for what.
The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
How do you keep a black man from jumping on your bed?
-Put velcro on the ceiling.
Why don't black people dream anymore?
-Because the last one that did got shot.
How do you keep five black men from raping a white woman?
-Give them a basketball.
What do you call black ladies' abortions?
-Crimestoppers
What do you say if you see your tv floating in the middle of the night?
-"Drop it nigga!"
Whats wrong with four Mexicans dying in an Impala?
-An Impala can hold five.
One day, a man goes to a hotel. There is only one room left; room #30. Wondering what was the problem with that room, he agrees to use that room and is shown the room. He is left with a warning: To never look under the rug.
That night, he can't sleep. He's wondering what's under the rug. So he gets up, and peeks under the rug.
It's a trapdoor. "OK, I can live with that," he says to himself, and goes to bed.
The next night, he can't sleep. He's wondering what's under the trapdoor. So he gets up, removes the rug, and opens the trapdoor.
He sees a really, really long staircase. "OK, I can
live with that," he says to himself, closes the trapdoor, replaces the rug, and goes to bed.
The next
A girl was eating lunch in the cafeteria and she was laughing and talking to all friends. But as you know, it is very distracting to talk while you're eating.
So she goes to put a french fry into her mouth and before anyone notices, she looks down because, you guessed it, she missed her mouth. Turns out everyone at the table had seen her do it. As the table bursts out laughing, someone says, "I do that all the time. I go to take a drink of water and I miss." Someone else said, "You have a hole in your lip." From the other end of the table someone yells "Who has a whore on their cheek?"
It is amazing how politicians can fit all their good points in a 30 second TV commercial.
A guy goes in an adult book store and asks for an inflatable doll.
Guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?"
Customer says, "Female."
Counter guy asks, "Black or white?"
Customer says, "White."
Counter guy asks, "Radical Christian or Muslim Extremist?"
Customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"
Counter guy says, "The Muslim Extremist blows itself up."
A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.
"What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?"
"Throw out an anchor, sir," the student replied.
"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"
"Throw out another anchor, sir."
"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then?" asked the captain.
"Throw out another anchor, sir."
"Hold on," said the captain. "Where are you getting all those anchors from?"
"From the same place you're getting your storms, sir."
Week 1 - Memo No. 1
Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual attire of their choice.
Week 3 - Memo No. 2
Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles or moccasins.
Week 6 - Memo No. 3
Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude. When planning Friday's wardrobe, remember image is a key to our success.
Week 8 - Memo No. 4
A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m. Friday in the cafeteria. A fashion show will follow. Attendance is mandatory.
Week 9 - Memo No. 5
As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, a 14-member
Home
