Category Jokes -
"Are you sure you don't want some Novocain?" asked the dentist.
"I'm sure," replied the maharishi. "I wish to transcend dental medication."
"You have a very rare and extremely contagious condition," the doctor told his patient. "We're going to put you in an isolation unit, where you'll be on a diet of pancakes and pizza."
"Will pancakes and pizza cure my condition?"
"No," replied the doctor. "They're the only things we can slip under the door."
Two men were sitting by the swimming pool at a nudist colony when they noticed a beautiful young woman walking towards the pool. Her tan lines traced the outline of a tiny bathing suit with elaborately criss-crossed straps across the back.
"I'll bet she looks great in that suit," one of the men said wistfully.
An RCMP officer pulled over a vehicle that had performed a rolling stop at a stop sign.
When the driver was told this, he replied, "But it says STOP, not STAY!"
A police officer pulled over a vehicle that had just driven through an intersection without slowing for the traffic light, which flashes red continually. (It flashes amber for the cross direction.)
The driver, blonde of course, explained, "But I didn't go through on the RED, I went through on the BLACK!"
Seen on a bumper sticker:
"I don't care who's on board, what you love, who you brake for or what you'd rather be doing."
"All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I
should have been more specific."
-Jane Wagner
"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world."
-Dave Barry
How do you confuse a stupid person?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
You know that little indestructible black box that
is used on planes?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the
same stuff?
Yo momma is so fat that the last time she saw 90210 is when she stepped on the bathroom scale!
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