A little boy was in a bookstore with his dad. They were browsing for books when the little kid said,"You know American Idol?" His dad said, "Yeah." The kid then said, "If they win, they'll become poptarts!"

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you. I've been finding real passion with Barbara and she is so nice even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion mom, she's pregnant and Barbara said that we will be very happy. Even though you don't care for her as she is much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Barbara taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for o

1 What do blondes and cow pies have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up. 2 What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine? She peed on her corn flakes. 3 What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? She turned it over and used the other side. 4 Did you hear about the stupid blonde? She got hit by a parked car. 5 Why can't the blonde add 10 and 7 on a calculator? Because she can't find the 10

Q: What device lets you see through a wall? A: Window

1) What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in? "Have another beer." 2) What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? The blonde works in the dark! 3) How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Scroll down... Scroll up... 4) So a blonde is walking down the street and she stops to ask a man the time, he says "O, it's uhh...4:45." The blonde responds, "Man, I've been asking that question all day and I get a different answer every time! 5) Superman, Batman, and a smart blonde all died on the same day.Which one got to Heaven first? None of them.They are all make-believe.

You might be a redneck if you stare at the orange juice container because it says concentrate on it!

Yo momma's so fat, when she wore a blue rain coat people said, "Let's go swim in the ocean!"

You might be a redneck if you ride the electric floorbuffer and mistake it for your wife!!

1. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure? No one else wants it. 2. What's a brunette's mating call? "Has the blonde left yet?" 3. What do you call a brunette who dies her hair blonde? Artifical Stupidity 4. What kind of costumes do brunette girls wear on Halloween? They just stand on their heads and go as dirty mops. 5. Why don't brunettes get breast implants? They've already spent their money on thigh and butt implants.

You might be a redneck if you wear a tube top to a funeral!

You might think that some guys are hot. Their boyfriends think that, too!

When the whole class had left the little boy said, "Teacher, give me an A+ on my math test." The teacher then says "No." Then the boy said, "Give me an A, or I'll tell my mom, who will tell my dad, who will tell the principal, and you will get fired. So the teacher finally agrees, and gives him an A on his test. Then the boy says, "Teacher take off your shirt." The teacher says "No!" So the little boy says, "Take off your shirt, or I'll tell my mom, who will tell my dad, who will tell the principal, and you'll get fired. So the teacher takes off her shirt. Then the little boy says, "Take off your pants." But again, the teacher says, "No!" So the little boy says, "Take off your pants or I'll