Ed and Ted went to the fair, where they came across a small crowd gathered around a stall. They decided to go over and take a look. "What's going on?" Ed asked a person in the crowd. "We're watching to see if some idiot can ride that bronco machine," he said, nodding towards a fearsome looking machine. "Nobody has managed to stay on for the full three minutes yet, and there's a prize of $100 for anybody who can." "I can do that," Ed said confidently. "You can't," said Ted. "You'll get yourself killed if you try and ride that thing." "Watch this," said Ed and he climbed aboard the bronco machine. The machine thrashed wildly, up and down, from side to side, around in circles but still

You know you're a redneck if your fence doubles as your clothesline

You know you're a redneck if you have season tickets for the tractor pull.

You know you're a redneck if you would rather your son have his own hunting show than become a doctor.

You know you're a redneck if a city night on the town includes city jail.

You know you're a redneck if your bathroom towels are also your bathroom curtains.

You may be a redneck if your burglar alarm is a vacuum cleaner plugged into a motion detector.

You might be a redneck if you've ever watched a tornado from a lawn chair.

You know you're a redneck if you paint your garage with a paintball gun.

You might be a redneck if you've ever been fired for shooting spitballs.

Scientists gathered three musicians together and asked them to name the greatest invention of the 20th century. The guitarist said the "wah-wah pedal" was the greatest invention. After that, they asked the drummer and he said the "bass pedal" was the greatest invention. Then finally, when asking the bass player, he said the "Stanley thermos" was the greatest invention. Confused, they asked him how he figured that, and he said: "Hot or cold how does it know, HOW DOES IT KNOW!?!?!?!"

At last. A bumper sticker for both parties. FINALLY, Someone has come out with a 100% bipartisan political bumper sticker. This hot selling bumper sticker comes from the great state of New York! "RUN HILLARY RUN" Democrats put it on the rear bumper. Republicans put it on the front bumper.