What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus.

1 How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday. 2 What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? Trying to hold on to a thought. 3 Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? They don't know the route. 4 Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool? No smoking. 5 How do you drive a blonde crazy? Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them. 6 Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out the W's. 7 How did the blonde die drinking milk? The cow fell on her. 8 Why do blondes like lightning? They think someone is taking their picture. 9 Why don't blo

1 A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "Go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them." A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'." 2 A blonde was telling her priest a Polack joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?" "Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?" 3 A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer popped out of the machine. She set it on the ground, put sixty more cents into th

Q:After a runner reached the end of a long, gruelling marathon, officials were amazed to see him continue to run. Why did he do this? A:The man was let out of prison for the day to enter the marathon. He kept on running to avoid prison.

One year, a particular harried husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

Two friends, Al and Mike, were walking through the woods, when suddenly a snake jumped up and bit Mike on the penis. He was quickly down on the ground writhing in pain, so Al yelled,"Wait here while I run and get help!" So Al runs into town, gets to the doctors office, and tells him what happened. The doctor tells him he cannot leave the office, but told Al he would need to bite open the wound and suck out all of the venom. Al runs back into the woods, and finds Mike still writhing in pain. "What did the doctor say?" asked Mike. And Al told him, "The doctor says you're gonna die!"

I hate thongs! I mean, come on, Women don't need to floss their butts.

War not determine who right, war determine who left.

What is the name of a naked woman lying between two naked men? Sharin Peters

Knock-knock Who's there? Stew Stew who? Stew cold out here, let me in!

IF I LOST A DOLLAR FOR EVERY BRAIN YOU HAVE, I WOULD BE IN DEBT

Which animals eat with their ears? All of them, since no animal takes its ears off to eat!