Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school? He was caught buttering up his teacher

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist." Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had

Yo mama is so fat, when she put on a red sweater and went outside all the kids said "Kool-aid man!"

A girl walks into a bar and sits down with her friend. She is feeling down, so she talks to her friend. Her friend says "Go get a beer." She says she didn't want one. Then the friend says "Hey, who said it was for you?" copyright fox corp.

Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like your dad.

Ryan's teeth were so yellow that when he walked outside, the sun said give me my butter.

Yo momma was so fat that when she went to do her daily running, her body was moving but she wasn't.

I was watching Beauty and the Geek the other day, and felt like submitting this joke (as it's somewhat similar to something that happened in the show). A blonde is in school, and her teacher is having a random discussion about IQs. Teacher: "So what would you say your IQ is?" she asks a student Kid #1: "I don't know.. I think it's just the regular 100." Teacher: "He, he, alright, you?" she asks another student. Kid #2: "Umm... well... I took a test and it's 118." Teacher: "Ah, you're pretty smart, then." The teacher then realizes that someone is not paying attention. Teacher: "What IQ do you think you have, young lady?" The blonde jolts up a little due to the surprise. Blonde: "My

Yo momma's so old, I slapped her back and her tits fell off.

Your momma's so fat, she uses a matress as a tampon.

Do they put underwear on corpses? Why do people say "The alarm just went off" when really it just came on? If a vampire were Jewish would his Sabbath start at sunrise? Why do child labor laws not prohibit children from acting in movies? If your eyes are crossed, do your tears fall straight? If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off on her taxes as a business expense? Is the vice president's wife called the second lady? Do you wake up or open your eyes first? Can you "zone out" and be "in the zone" at the same time? If French kissing is a big thing in America, how do French people react to normal American kissing? Why is it called a soap opera when nobody sings?

Have I ever told you about my uncle Jeffy? Well, as a kid my uncle Jeffy lost all of his hair, and everyone thought he was sick, so he went to a doctor. The doctor told him "Jeffy, you are not sick." He was right because, later in life, Jeffy was in school and walked through a wall! It turned out Jeffy had magical powers! He then got a pet dragon and learned how to fly. We go visit Uncle Jeffy at the Mental Institution every 1st of the month.