Prior to her trip to Texas, Buffy (a New Yorker) confided to her sorority sisters she had three goals for her trip to the Lone Star State. She wanted to taste some real Texas Barbeque, take in a bona fide rodeo and have sex with a real cowboy. Upon her return, her sorority sisters were curious as to how she fared. "Let me tell you, they have a tree down there called a Mesquite and when they slow cook that brisket over that Mesquite, it's oh so good. The taste is unbelievable!" And, I went to a real rodeo... Talk about athletes! Those guys wrestle full-grown bulls! They ride horses at a full gallop then jump off the horses and grab the bulls by the horns and throw them to the ground! It is ju

An elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked,so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved, "I love you, Sally." On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it,they took it home. There, she counted the money. It totaled fifty thousand dollars. Andy said, "We've got to give it back." Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"

Why can't a gypsy man walk right? Because he has crystal balls!

>God made mud,>God made dirt,>>God made guys,>>>So girls can flirt!

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Yo momma so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse.

Knock-Knock Who's there Icee Icee who I see you in there now let me in!

A boy asked his mother what the word "shit" meant. The mother didn't know what to say, so she said it meant "food". Then he asked what the word "nigger" meant. She still did not know what to say, so she said "priest". The last word he asked about was "fuck". She really did not know what to say so she said "to get dressed". When the priest came over, the boy said to the priest, "Hey, nigger, the shit is on the table and my mom and dad are fucking in the room".

Ronnie never listens in science class because he says it's boring.. One day his teacher asked, "Ronnie, What are the 3 states of matter?" Since he heard his name he did listen to the question. So he thinks for a second and replies, "Texas, Florida, and Arkansas!"

A young man worked at an aquarium feading the animals, cleaning the tanks and the like. One day his boss came to him and said, "We have a group of second-graders coming for a field trip in about thirty minutes and the dolphins are getting 'playful'. The only thing that will make the dolphins behave is baby seagull meat. I want you to take this bag and go down to the beach and get some baby seagulls, but be careful because a lion has escaped from the zoo. They say it's been shot with a tranq gun so it shouldn't be a problem." So, the young man took the bag, made his way down to the beach and got the seagulls with no problem. He decided to take the short cut through the woods on his way

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch codnutced at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,it deosn't mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are tpyed,the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit oedrer. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?