A college student at a recent college football game challenged a senior citizen sitting next to him, saying it was impossible for their generation to understand this: "You grew up in a different world," the student said, loud enough for the whole crowd to hear. "Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, man has walked on the Moon, our spaceships have visited Mars, we even have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing ... and uh ....." Taking advantage of a pause in the student's litany, the senior citizen said, "You're right. We didn't have those things when we were young; so we invented them, you little twit! What are *you* doing for th

The Fart Dictionary The Alarm Fart - This is a good fart for the beginner. It is easy to identify. It starts with a loud unnaturally high note, wavers like a siren, and ends with a quick downward note that stops before you expect it to. It sounds like something is wrong. If it happens to you, you will know right off why it is called the Alarm Fart. You will be alarmed. The alarm fart however is rare. The Amplified Fart - This is any fart that gets its power more from being amplified than from the fart itself. A metal porch swing will amplify a fart every time. So will a plywood table,and empty fifty gallon drum, a tin roof, or some empty cardboard boxes if they are strong through being a

Verbs Anal Salute backfire bake breeze biscuits bake brownies bark bend a valve Beep your horn Blast the chair blow dirt blow dust blow a fart blow a gasket blow kisses blow mud blow smoke Blow the big brown horn blow the sparkplugs blurt boff Bottom blast Bottom burp boom-boom break the seam break wind buang angin bust ass Buttock bassoon Butt burp Butt tuba butt yodeling chemold clear one's throat cleft a boofer colon bowlin' cook eggs couper le fromage crack ass crepitate crop dusting cut a gasser cut a melon cut chedder cut muffins cut one cut the cheese cut the provolone Cut a stinker Cut the wind deal one degas dot'dot draw mud from the bottom of

Knock-knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes me, who's you? (This is me, who's you.)

It is illegal to stick coins in your ears in the state of Hawaii.

Why were the police at the baseball game? Because someone stole second base!

Yo momma is so fat and dumb, she used Antarctica as a popsicle!

yo mommo so stupid when she was drowning, she ate a Lifesaver. Lifesaver is a candy.

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Darwin's Answer: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. Another of Darwin's Answers: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads. Johnny Cochran 's Answer: Because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit. Snoop Dogg 's Answer: This (censored) fool of a chicken didn't (censored) know what the (censored) he was doin crossin a (censored) alley in (censored) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censored) mornin'. Bill Cosby 's Answer: Weeelll, ya see, the chicken crossed the road, and to get... to...the jello pudding pops. Homer Simpson 's Answer: There was free beer on

100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.