Category Jokes -
What's gross?
Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon.
What's grosser than that?
Finding a used condom on the bottom of a mayonnaise jar.
What's grosser than that?
When you open the refigerator and the rump rost farts in your face.
You want to know what's grosser than that?
When you sit on your grandpa's lap and he pops a boner.
But the one thing that is grosser than that is when you are siting on your grandma's lap and she pops a boner.
Q.) What do you ask a kid wearing a muscle shirt
but has no muscles?
A.) Did you leave your muscles in your other muscle shirt?
Q.)Your child poops in their pants- what do you do?
A.)Drop off the child at day-care and make them change it.
Q) What does a blond say when she comes out of a lesbian bar?
A) Wow, those people sure were friendly!
A wife asked her husband well you remarry if I die?
Husband:(caught off guard) He said no, I already did....
CRAP!!!
My friend Sam was taking electricity as one of his high school electives, originally being interested in robotics. Unfortunately, he changed his mind, but was still stuck with finishing his despised electricity books. "Do you have any idea of a direction you are going to go now?" asked my mother. He shook his head. "No idea..." That's when my dad jumped in. "Well, even though you won't use it in your career, now you will know what happens electrically when you push the little red button and say 'Welcome to Sheetz, Pump 5 is on.'"
A blond goes up to a brunette that's wearing a puffy wig with two green ribbons on each front side.
The blond says "NICE CAT! HOW DID YOU GET IT TO BALANCE ON YOUR HEAD?"
The brunette tears up and says "ITS A WIG! MY FRIENDS TOLD ME IT WAS IN FASHION AND I GUESS THEY HATE ME!!!"
The brunette runs home and never noticed that she was talking to a blond. So in the end the brunette was a blond too.
Your momma so ugly she didn't even have to dress up for Halloween, and still scared everybody, and made some people say, "Nice costume!"
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