Q. How do you keep a jack ass in suspense? A. I`ll tell you tomorrow.

Here's a lighted dynamite stick, please hold it until I get back.

Help reduce air pollution, stop breathing

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.

Keep talking, I always yawn when I'm interested.

Your mouth is so big you could swallow a whole banana... ...sideways

A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

Someone dropped $50. Who do you think will pick it up? A.) An honest politician B.) A five year old child C.) Santa Claus B.) A 5 year old child, all the others aren't real.

Q. Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A. Because it was dead Q Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because it was stapled to the dog! Q. Why did the tree fall over? A. Because it thought it was a game.

1. Did you hear about the man who had a shower without getting his hair wet? He was bald! 2. Did you hear about the boy who was named after his father? His name was Dad!

Q.) How does a blonde make a stainless ink pen? A.) She doesn't put ink in it.