Flea: (noun) a small, wingless, bloodsucking parasite (see also) a. Brother-in-law b. lawyer c. politician

Knock-Knock, Who's there? Alarm. Alarm who? Alarm the cops about all the partying I've been having!!

I-rish my beer was full...

Two men were riding on a train. One of them had a bottle in his coat pocket, and the other one wanted it. Finally the train went through a dark tunnel and the man was able to take the bottle out and drink up all the "whisky" inside of it. Then he put it back into the other man's pocket. When the train came out of the tunnel, the man who owned the bottle took it out of his pocket, opened it up, and spit into it.

Q. How do you keep a jack ass in suspense? A. I`ll tell you tomorrow.

Here's a lighted dynamite stick, please hold it until I get back.

Help reduce air pollution, stop breathing

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.

Keep talking, I always yawn when I'm interested.

Your mouth is so big you could swallow a whole banana... ...sideways

A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?