Q. What do me and a mirror have in common? A. When we see your face we both crack up!

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road? A: He heard the chicken was a slut. Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A: They already have boyfriends. Q: Why is it that an archaeologist is the best man to have as a husband? A: The older you get the more he is interested in you. Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A: A widow! Q: Why are blond jokes so short? A: So men can remember them. Man: I don't know why you wear a bra. You've got nothing to put in it. Woman: You wear a pants, don't you? Man: God, why did you make my girlfriend so beautiful and caring?" God: So you would love her. Man: But God, why did you make h

You're so dumb you stole free samples.

What is the difference between a lawyer and a wood tick? A wood tick falls off when you die.

Haven't I seen you on TV? Well yes I do appear off and on, how do you like me? Off.

Yo mama is so fat, she can sell shade.

Your mama is so fat, a giant mistook her for a bowling ball!

One bright day in the middle of the night, 2 dead boys got up to fight back to back they faced each other, drew their knives, and shot each other. a deaf policeman heard the noise, and came to kill those two dead boys. if you don't believe my stories true, ask the blind guy, he saw it to!

Man: "Do you think I'll lose my looks when I get older?" Friend: "With luck, yes."

Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A. All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.

Yo mamma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo mamma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. Yo mamma so old she ran track with dinosaurs. Yo mamma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. Yo mamma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

A job seeker was interviewing, and the interviewer asked him, "Tell me what is your greatest strength?" The prospective employee said, "Sir, I am a little bit shy, but should I give you my honest answer?" The interviewer says, "Of course, yes. I expect nothing but honesty from my staff." The job seeker says, "Sir, my greatest strength is my wife." The interviewer was quite impressed with the spousal respect of this man, thought he could be a great member of his team, corporate community and he deserved the job. So with an intention of offering him the job soon the interviewer tried to wrap up with the last question, "Tell me now, what is your greatest weakness?" The guy felt encourage