What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite

Yo momma is so dumb, she tried to fix breaking news!

What is a cat's favorite part of the computer? The mouse!

What's a ghost's least favorite room in a house? -The living room

Knock-knock Who's there? Olive Olive who? Olive you!!!

Why did the kid walk backwards to school? Because it was back to school day!

How do spell mousetrap with only three letters? C-A-T

Once there was this Australian guy, an English guy, and an American guy. They all went into a furniture store to by a chair that played music when you sat on it (aka musical chair). The next day the Australian guy comes back and says he wants to return the chair. When the clerk asks why he says it's too hard, so the clerk gives him his money back. The day after that the English guy comes back and says he wants to return the chair and again when the clerk asks why, he says it was too hard. So the clerk gives him his money back. The next day the American guy comes back and asks to return the chair. The clerk, getting somewhat annoyed by this time, says, "Let me guess, it's too hard right?" The

One eye says to the other eye, "Between you and me, something smells."

Where does a judge eat lunch? At the food court!

Why did 3 blonds jump off the building? To see if their maxi-pads had wings!

This list of chalkboard assignments may be used for your dog when he does not behave well. The below variations and choices will help you pick an assignment. A. Fill in the blanks 1. [xxx] is not food. Spiders; bandaids; ivy and airplane plants; Xmas ornaments; the carved jack-o-lantern; plants from the aquarium; cat litter box contents; laundry detergent boxes (esp. not when full!); toothpaste (tube and all); remote controls; linoleum; eyeglasses; books; stockings; the tar shingles on my house; chicken wire; bizarre plants; disposable razors; rocks; Lego; dirty Kleenex; the baby's used diaper; Christmas stockings; soda pop cans; fiberglass insulation stuffed up the chimney; the underwear i