After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church board after the service. The first man to arrive was a stranger. "You misunderstood my announcement. This is a meeting of the board," said the minister. "I know," said the man. "If there is anyone here more bored than I am, I'd like to meet him."

Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils!

Lisa was playing bowling with her friend Marie. Lisa got a strike, then one more strike. Then, she got another strike. She had just gotten 3 strikes in a row! "I just got 3 strikes in a row!" said Lisa. Marie said, "You're out, you just got 3 strikes in a row!"

A gazelle goes out for her usual afternoon walk. About an hour later, she realizes that she is lost out in the open. Unskilled in the ways of the real world, she asks a cheetah, "Excuse me sir, do you know what time it is?" With a grin, the cheetah said, "It's lunchtime."

What is the answer to this riddle? What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you'll die? A: Nothing

*Think of a letter between ** A and W. .. .. .. .. .. .. Repeat it out loud as you scroll down. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. **Keep going . . .. .. .. .. .. .. ** Don't stop ** .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. Think of an **animal **that begins **with that letter .. .. .. . . .. . .. .. Repeat it out loud as you scroll down. .. .. . .. .. .. .. .. Think of either a **man's/woman's ** name ** that **begins with the ** last letter** **in the animal's name .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ** .. .. .. .. .. .. .. Almost there....... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. Now .. .. .. *count out the letters in that name on the fingers of the hand you are not using to scroll down. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. Take the hand you counted with a

Q: What do the Star Trek Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? A: They both circle around Uranus searching for Klingons!

A couple had been debating buying a vehicle for weeks. He wanted a truck. She wanted a fast little sports car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range. "Look!" she said, "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in just a few seconds. Nothing else will do. My birthday is coming up. so surprise me!" He did just that, so for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale. Nobody has seen or heard from him since.

In my holiday to one Asian country, I happened to make a friendship with a local guy while I was drinking a softdrink Fanta. He speaks broken English, but I can fairly understand him. I offered him a softdrink, to that he choose Coco Cola. The guy was showing some postcard of Mountains to me. They are really beautiful and just remarked "Fantastic!". I also showed him some beautiful pictures of country side stored in my digital camera, where I have trekked. To my surprise! Can you guess what was his remark? ... ... ... ... ... ... He remarked "Coco Colastic!"

How do you make one disappear? Add the letter g, to make it GONE!

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!

What did the porcupine say to the cactus? "Is that you, mommy?"