Analogy of sex: Insert the 'quarter' into the 'vending machine' and then the 'gumball' comes out.

The forgien exchanged students Jose, Doron, and Krono didn't know any English. So their teacher asked them to go find some words. Jose goes to the airport and sees a plane. "Waz dat?" he asks. "That's a plane taking off," the pilot said. "Take off!" he says. Doron goes to the zoo and sees a zebra. "Waz dat?" he asks. "That's a zebra," a lady tells him. "Ze'bra!" he says. Krono goes to the hospital and sees a new baby. "Waz dat?" he asks. "That's my baby," the mother said. "Be'be!" he says. The next day in class, they say all the words together. "Take off ze bra bebe!!"

"What's wrong with you?" you asked a very dumb guy that was taking your order at the newest resturant in town. "The doctor doesn't know yet, hehe (snort)."

Why did the chicken pox cross the road? He was afraid if he stayed he would be spotted.

How do the kids of dentists get around the neighborhood? On Molar-Skates

What movie is really the sequel to April Fools? The May-Tricks

What's Samurai Jack's favorite fish? Swordfish

What monster was created on April 1? Pranken-stien

Knock-Knock! Who's there? Frayed. Frayed who? Frayed no one's going to answer the door.

A couple of teenagers craving something sweet drove to the nearest Baskin-Robbins. They bought ice cream cones and returned to their car to be comfortable. As they settled back to enjoy themselves, two ravens landed on the front hood and began to caw and flutter, and to peck at the windshield. The young man finally figured out what they wanted. He finished his ice cream, opened the window, and put his empty cone on the hood. The birds immediately settled down to eat. "You're wonderful," said his girlfriend. "How did you ever think of that?" "Nothing to it," he replied. "It was just a case of stilling two birds with one cone."

A sailor trying to sneak back to his ship about 3 o'clock in the morning was spotted by a chief petty officer who ordered him to explain his tardiness. The lame explanation didn't work. "Take this broom and sweep every link on this anchor chain by morning or it's the brig for you," the chief said. The sailor began to sweep, but a tern landed on the broom handle and he couldn't continue. He yelled at the bird, but it didn't budge. He finally plucked it off the broom and gave it a toss. But the bird came right back and again landed on the handle. Over and over, the same routine was repeated. A toss, one sweep, and the bird was back. When morning came, the chief also was back. "What have you b

Mrs. Ward goes to the doctor's office to collect her husband's test results. The lab tech says to her, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but there has been a big mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent your husband's samples to the lab, the samples from another Mr. Ward were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly, it is either bad or terrible." "What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asked. "Well, one has tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband." "That's terrible! Can we do the test over?" questioned Mrs. Ward. "Normally, yes.But Medicare won't pay for these expensive tests more than once." "Well, what am I supposed to d