A little boy goes to his father one day and says, "Daddy, what is politics?" "Well," his father replied, "let me try to explain it to you this way. Let's say that you're the people. I'm the breadwinner of the family so we'll call me the economy. Your mother is in charge so we'll call her government. Your nanny will be the working class, and your baby brother is the future. Now go think about that and see if you can understand." The boy thinks about it but doesn't really get it so he goes to bed. He wakes up in the middle of the night and hears his baby brother crying. He goes to check on his brother and sees that he has soiled himself but doesn't know how to change a diaper. He goes

What do you call a horny fish? A blowfish

Teacher: Jimmy! Count from one all the way to ten! Jimmy: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. Teacher: Good, now what comes after that? Jimmy:Jack, queen and king!

What is 4-2? two. What is 8-6? two. Who wrote Tom Sawyer? Twain Now say the answers altogether. Two two Twain. Have a nice twip!

Child: "Teacher! I can't find my boots!" Teacher: "Are you sure?" Child: "Yes! There is only one pair left, and it's not mine!" Teacher:"Are you sure?" Child:" Definitely! Mine had snow on them!"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all go to a bar. The redhead walks up to the bartender and says,"I'll have a BL." So the bartender gives her a Bud Light. The brunette walks up next and says,"I'll have an ML." So the bartender gives her a Miller Light. The blonde is catchingon so she goes up to the bartender and says,"I'll have a 15." The bartender thinks about it, looks around, and says,"Ok, you stumped me. What's a 15?" The blonde goes,"Duh! 7 and 7."

The following event actually happened to a famous basketball coach. "When I first got a job as La Salle University's basketball coach, the phone rang and my wife told me it was Sports Illustrated. I cut myself shaving and fell down the steps in my rush to get the phone. When I got there, a voice on the other end said, 'For just 75 cents an issue...'"

Why don't skeletons ever play music at church? Because they don't have any organs!

What did the statue say to the other after a break-up and make-up? I'm sorry I took you for granite. (granted) hahahaha

Why does Hershey's chocolate taste so good? Because they are made by women! (Her-She) hahahaha

A golf ball is a golf ball, no matter how you putt it.

Child: Mommy, why am I so skinny? Mommy: Don't worry about it, dear. When your father was born, he only weighed four pounds. Child: Really? Did he live?