Why did the pencil cross the road? It was lead!

There are these kids at school, each bragging about how they ruined something in an amount of time. 1st kid: I wore out a pair of shoes in 1 month. 2nd kid: I wore out a pair of jeans in 1 week. 3rd kid: Oh that's nothing, I wore out my babysitter in 5 minutes!

Teacher: Can you pay a little attention to this lesson?! Pupil: I am trying my best to pay as little attention as I can!!

I went into a restaurant that served 'breakfast at any time'. So, I asked for French Toast in the time of the Renaissance

Did you hear about all the Wal-Marts being taken out of Afghanistan? Yeah thet're putting in Targets!

A teacher asks a first grader a simple math question. TEACHER:" If you had 50 cents in one pocket, and you asked you dad for another 50 cents, how much would you have?" STUDENT:"50 cents." TEACHER: "You obviously don't know how to add." STUDENT: "You obviously don't know my dad!"

Q: Why are frogs so happy? A: They eat whatever bugs them!

Q: How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how many lightbulbs need changing.

Say the word pig before each word. Pigs About Talking Idiot This Got I Long How Look Now say the word pig after each word Pigs About Talking Idiot This Got I Long How Look Next say the word pig before and after each word Pigs About Talking Idiot This Got I Long How Look Finally read the list of words from the bottom up. Pigs About Talking Idiot This Got I Long How Look Have a Great day :)

Q:What happens when two frogs collide? A: They get tongue tied Q: How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? A: Unhoppy Q: What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit? A: A rubbit Q: Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes? A: He liked a good croak and dagger Q: What happened to the frog's car when his parking permit expired? A: It got toad

Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings when they go on a date? So they have some place to put their feet.

Your breath is so bad, you need a tic-tac the size of a watermelon!