Q: How many believable, competent, "just right for the job" presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?

Q: How many art directors does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Does it have to be a lightbulb?

Why do firemen use red suspenders? To hold their pants up!!!

You're so dumb, you staple in the middle of the paper!

Yo momma is so stupid that she gets lost in a telephone booth.

Q: You know what's gross? A: When you look in a mirror!

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was attempting to cross it when yo mamma got hungry.

Q:What do you call a 500 pound Russian that can bend you like a bendy straw? A:Sir

What's black and white and played all over? Black and White (the computer game)

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

How many nerds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to be the cunsultant. One to be the labor manager. Two to hire people. Four to actually screw in the lightbulb. Five to be the ladder and ten to be the company board of directors.

How To Easily Clean A Cat 1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted. 3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "powerwash and ri