- Watching a nature show where animals fornicate, he keeps winking and doing the eyebrow thing. - When you ask him what kind of car he likes to drive, he solemnly replies, "The skin bus to tuna town," and then laughs until he cries. - You note that integrity is so important in a man, he notes that what he looks for in a "chick " is "you know." - He whispers, "You're beautiful," to your thighs, then glances up at your face and says, "Oh you, too." - When you comment on the rarity of men these days who seek mature relationships, he giggles quite a bit. - In conversation with others, he refers to you as his "quality tail." - Washing dishes after you've cooked him dinner for the first tim

An epileptic young woman named Camp Was seduced on her couch by a tramp But the first time he squeezed her She had a Grand seizure And broke both his balls and a lamp.

A horny old trapper named Rex Liked the risks of wild porcupine sex. By incredible luck His dick never got stuck, But his nuts were just pitiful wrecks.

You're so fat, when you sleep over someone's house, you sleep OVER someone's house!

You're so dumb, you tried to rip the lips off a chicken!

This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. "Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named "Mighty Storm"? "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm." "Why is my sister named "Cornflower"? "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield, when we made her." "And why is my other sister called "Moonchild"? "We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived." "Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?"

A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said. "Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy. The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping ho

A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park. A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself." "You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker. "I tried that," replied the blonde, "but I couldn't breathe."

zebra: 25 sizes bigger than an 'A' bra

Russian Roulette, by Hugo First

The Lazy Boy, by Yu Doit

On clothes: do not iron while wearing. On a baby carriage: do not fold while in use.