How do you tell a blondes been using your computer? There's whiteout on the screen

A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches down, pulls out a knife, and lunges at the man. The man backs away and yells "WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?" "Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore do you?" replies the pharmacist. The man says, "No I don't, you jerk; but my wife out in the car still does!"

Adam was in the Garden of Eden and was very very lonely. So God decides to build him a friend and lover. He decides to call it a "Woman". So he sets out to work but realizes he'll need to borrow a few parts from Adam, so he goes to Adam and explains the situation. God says "I'll build the perfect companion, she'll cook, clean, take care of your every wish and need and will never nag or complain or be angry at you for no reason. It'll only cost you an arm and a leg." Adam says "But I need my arm and leg... what can I get for just a rib?" And the rest is history...

You're so ugly when you go outside your arrested for indecent exposure.

Your momma is so poor I saw her kicking a cardboard box down the street and when I asked her what she was doing she said "Moving!"

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish!

How many little brothers does it take to change a light bulb? Three- one to hold onto the bulb and two to turn the ladder.

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two- One to screw in the idea, and one to give it a suprising twist at the end.

How many boy scouts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three- Each to do one good turn daily.

Yo Mama's so fat, she didn't have a birth certificate, she had a blueprint!

Yo mama's so fat, she sells shade, and that gives her enough to feed a family!

Yo Momma's so poor, I blew my nose, and she said, "Lord thank us, we have food!"