Category Jokes - Children
Science Teacher: Now, now class settle down. Today we will be learning about Biology.
Girl: Oh boy! An entire unit about buying! I've bought a lot of things like earrings, and rings, and necklaces, and bracelets...
Math Teacher: Okay class. Today we will be learning about subtraction.
Boy: Hooray! I know everything there is to know about sub tracks because my father owns a train station. did you know that sub tracks are like regular tracks but...
A boy and his mom were playing the new game of life were you could put your house were you wanted it. The boy put it on the left side. On his next turn he moved it onto the right side. The mom asked why he did that and he said, "I wanted to live on the other side of life."
(A father is letting five kids make a complete mess of the restaurant. They're ripping napkins and using it as confetti, breaking chopsticks and screaming their little heads off.)
Me: "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to tell them to stop doing that. They are disturbing the other customers."
Father: *beaming* "No."
Me: "No, as in, no you won't tell them to stop it?"
Father: *still beaming*"Yes."
(I have to get back to work at this point and sure enough, the kids keep misbehaving. Several customers complain to me but I have no authority to throw them out. The last to complain is a table with about eight young guys.)
Customer 1: "So there's nothing you can do about them?"
Me: "I'm so v
(I am shelving DVDs in a library when a man comes in with a boy who appears to be autistic. The boy sees a movie about Thanksgiving.)
Boy: "Thanksgiving! I love Thanksgiving! I'm thankful... I'm thankful for... I'm thankful for my friends at school!"
Caretaker: "You're thankful for your friends at school?"
Boy: "Yeah! Yeah and... and... what are you thankful for? Are you thankful for your friends?"
Caretaker: *no response*
Boy: "Are you thankful for me?"
Caretaker: "I'm thankful for you, kid. I'm more thankful for you than all my friends in the world."
Boy: *smiles*
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