The teacher asked little Andy if he knew his numbers yet. "Yes, teacher," he said, "my dad taught me." "Good, Andy. Tell me what comes after two," the teacher said. "Three," replied Andy. "Very good. What comes after five, Andy?" asked the teacher. "Six," answered Andy. "Excellent. Your dad did a very good job. Now, what comes after ten?" the teacher asked. "A jack!" replied Andy.

One day, during math class, the teacher asked Little Johnny, "If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many would you have?" "Seven," replied Johnny. "No, Johnny. Listen carefully this time. If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many would you have?" asked the teacher. "Seven!" insisted Johnny. "Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples, two apples and another two apples, how many would you have?" the teacher asked. "Six," Johnny answered. "Good, Johnny, that's right," said the teacher. "Now, if I give you two rabbits, two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many would you have?" "Seven!" Johnny said. "Johnny, how on

The social studies teacher had just completed a lesson on war and peace. "How many of you," the teacher asked, "would say you're opposed to war?" Not surprisingly, every student in the class raised their hand. "Who would like to give us their reason for being opposed to war?" asked the teacher. Little Johnny, sitting at the back of the class, immediately raised his hand. "Johnny, what is your reason?" the teacher asked. "I hate wars," explained Johnny, "because wars make history, and I hate History!"

The teacher told her students they would start their day with the Pledge of Allegiance, instructing them to place their right hand over their heart and repeat after her. As she began to recite the Pledge, she looked around the room and noticed that Little Johnny hand his hand over the right cheek of his behind. "Little Johnny," she said, "we will not continue until you place your hand over your heart." "It is over my heart," Little Johnny replied innocently. She attempted to get Little Johnny to place his hand over his heart several times, all to no avail. Finally, frustrated, she asked, "What makes you think that's your heart?" "Well, whenever Grandma comes to visit," Johnny explained,

When Little Johnny got his exam paper back, he saw a big red F staring back at him. Billy looked at his glum friend and asked, "Why did you get such a low mark on that test?" "Because of absence," Johnny answered. "You mean you were absent on the day of the test?" Billy inquired. Little Johnny replied, "I wasn't, but the kid who sits next to me was."

The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time, so she decided to get his attention. "Johnny," she said, "if the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are sixty cents a dozen, how old am I?" Johnny answered, "Thirty-four." The teacher replied, "Well, that's not far from my age. Tell me ... how did you guess?" "Oh, there's nothing to it," Johnny said. "My big sister is seventeen and she's only half-crazy."

While his mother was having a consultation with the doctor, Little Johnny could be heard terrorizing the people in the waiting room, yet she made no attempt to restrain him. A few minutes later, they heard some clattering in an adjoining room, but still she did nothing. Finally, after an extra-loud crash, she casually said to the doctor, "I hope you don't mind Little Johnny playing in there." "No, not at all," the doctor replied calmly. "I'm sure he'll calm down as soon as he finds the poison."

Read All About It! A newsboy was standing at the corner with a stack of newspapers, yelling, "Read all about it! Fifty people swindled! Read all about it!" Curious about it, a man walked over and bought a newspaper. After checking the front page and finding nothing, he said to the boy, "What are you talking about? I don't see anything in here about fifty people being swindled." The newsboy ignored him and continued, yelling out, "Read all about it! Fifty-one people swindled!"

A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."

An old preacher was just getting out of church and was driving home through his neighborhood. As he was turning the corner of one of the major streets in his neighborhood, he noticed 3 boys playing dice on the sidewalk, and betting money along with it. The old preacher thinks to himself how awful the situation is, that these young children are already heading down the life of sin and he should do something to stop it. The old preacher pulls over and gets out on the opposite side of the street and starts walking over to the boys. He calls out to the oldest looking one and asked the boy to "come here" so that as he's walking towards the boys, the oldest boy would be walking towards him. Wh

When a women found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes," he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it Quits."

Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.