A Thanksgiving Cookbook by Mrs. Geraghty's Kindergarten Class NOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be responsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook. Jason - Chicken Pie Put the chicken in the pot and put the salad and cheese and mustard and then you mix it all together. Then put chicken sauce and stir it all around again. Then you cook it for 5 minutes at 9 degrees. Then you eat it. Christopher - Pumpkin Pie First you buy a pumpkin and smash it. Then it is all done. And you cook it in the oven for 12 minutes and 4 degrees. Then you eat it. Christine - Turkey First you buy the turkey. Then you cook it for 5 hours and 5 degrees. Then you cut it up and you eat it. Isabelle - Sp

A little boy put on his baseball uniform and went outside to play, chanting "I'm the best baseball hitter in the world!" He throws the ball in the air, swings and misses. Strike one! He adjusts his hat and says, "I'm the best baseball hitter in the world!" He throws the ball in the air, swings and misses. Strike two! He adjusts his hat a little more, takes a couple of practice swings and says, "I'm the best baseball hitter in the world!" Once more, he throws the ball in the air, swings and misses again. Strike three! He thinks for a few moments about what just took place, then says, "I'm the best pitcher in the world!"

The children in the Sunday school class were asked by their teacher to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. When she looked at little Ricky's picture, she was puzzled to see that he had drawn four people in an airplane, so she asked him which story it represented. Little Ricky replied, "That's the Flight to Egypt." "Oh, I see," said the teacher. "That must be Mary, Joseph and the Baby Jesus, but who's the fourth person?" "That's Pontius ... the Pilot!" answered Ricky.

During his sermon, the preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike. As he preached, he continued to move briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. At one point, he moved to one side and got caught up in the cord, nearly tripping before he jerked it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the second pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

Little Johnny had the flu and wasn't able to attend the Palm Sunday church service with his family. When they returned home from the service, they were carrying palm branches. "What are those?" Little Johnny asked his mother. "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his mother explained. "Well, doesn't that just figure," grumbled Little Johnny. "The one Sunday I can't go to church, and Jesus shows up!"

The preschoolers' Sunday school teacher told them that she wanted each of them to learn one fact about Jesus by the following Sunday. The next Sunday, she asked each of them what they had learned. "I learned that he was born in a manger," said Julie. Timmy said, "I learned that he threw the money changers out of the temple." "What about you, Johnny? What did you learn?" the teacher asked. "He has a pick-up truck and he doesn't know how to drive," replied Little Johnny. Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?" "I learned it from Daddy," Little Johnny explained. "When we were driving down the highway, a pick-up truck cut right in front of us and Daddy shouted,

One night, a mother was walking past her young daughter's room when she saw the little girl kneeling by her bed, head bowed, hands folded, reciting the alphabet. "What are you doing, sweetheart?" the mother asked. "I'm saying my prayers, Mommy," replied the little girl, "but I couldn't think of what I wanted to say, so I'm saying the letters of the alphabet, and God can put them together whichever way He feels is best."

Seven-year-old Timmy had been the center of his parents' lives up until the time his new baby sister came along. He found it very difficult to share their attention and was becoming more and more jealous. When his little sister was a year old, his parents took him aside and told him that since she was getting bigger, their house was too small, so they would be moving to a bigger house. "Why bother," Timmy grumbled, "She's crawling good now, so she'll probably just follow us."

This really happened (honest!) A bunch of very young girls arrived at our door at Halloween. My Mum, being friendly, asked them whereabouts they lived, because she hadn't seen them before. They replied, "We live quite near here, where do you live?"

There was a child who came back from school one day with loads of cuts and bruises and his bike broken. The concerned mother asked him what had happened. So, the child says "Well, when the fridge landed on me..."

Little Susie was mother's little helper and always set the table when company was coming for dinner. The table was set, the visitors had arrived and everyone sat down at the table when Mother noticed that something was missing. "Susie, you didn't put a knife and fork out for Mr. Grover," mother said. "I didn't think he would need them, Mommy," Susie explained. "Daddy says he eats like a horse!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a quiet smoke. Jack returned with lung cancer and Jill a fatal stroke.