Jokes
Category Jokes - Children
Matt's dad picked him up from school one afternoon. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part. Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years." "That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part."
Jabu walked into class every morning with a black eye. After a while his teacher got worried and asked him about it. Jabu answered, "Our house is very small, Miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep in the same bed. Every night my father asks, 'Jabu are you sleeping?' I say, 'no' and then he hits me and gives me a black eye." So the teacher says to him, "When your father asks again, keep dead quiet and don't answer." The following morning, Jabu comes to school and his eye is fine, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. But the day after that Jabu comes back with a black eye again. "My goodness Jabu, why the black eye again?" He tells her, "Ma'am, Dad asked me again, 'Jabu are you
On a trip to see Santa, little Johnny climbed into St. Nick's lap and shared his wish list. Later that day, in another store, there was Santa again! "And what would you like for Christmas?" he asked little Johnny. Shaking his head, Johnny sighed, "You really need to write these things down."
HOW DO PEOPLE IN LOVE TYPICALLY BEHAVE? "When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down and they don't get up for at least an hour." Wendy, age 8. "Mooshy...like puppy dogs...except puppy dogs don't wag their tails nearly as much." Arnold, age 10. "All of a sudden, the people get movies fever so they can sit together in the dark." Shem, age 8. CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE "One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too." Andrew, age 6. ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE "Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." John, age 9. REFLECTIONS ON THE NATURE OF LOVE "Love is the most important thing in
CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE "I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'Dinosaurs' is on television." Jill, age 6. "Love is foolish.....but I might try it sometime." Floyd, age 9. "Yesterday I kissed a girl in a private place...we were behind a tree." Carey, age 7. THE PERSONAL QUALITIES YOU NEED TO HAVE IN ORDER TO BE A GOOD LOVER "Sensitivity don't hurt." Robbie, age 8. SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU "Shake your hips and hope for the best." Camille, age 9. "Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs...and don't worry if their parents are right there." Manuel, age 8. HOW CAN YOU TELL IF ADULTS EATING DINNER IN A RESTAURANT ARE
Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For pity's sake, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?"
This is a true story. Last year my teachers all believed in the, "There is no stupid question" thing, until we started talking about a three day trip our class was going to take. We had just finished talking about room arrangements. My teacher asked for any questions, stating his famous line, "There are no stupid questions." A girl raised her hand and asked, "Are guys allowed to bunk with us?" He now has a new fave line, "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."
Dear God, If we come back as something, please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her. – Denise Dear God, You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways. – Dean Dear God, I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying. – Elliot Dear God, Of all the people who work for You, I like Noah and David the best. – Rob Dear God, My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they? – Marsha
Dear God, The bad people laughed at Noah - "You made an ark on dry land, you fool". But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do. – Eddie Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want You to know but I am not just saying that because You are God already. – Charles Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. That was cool! – Eugene Dear God, In Sunday School they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? – Jane Dear God, I read the Bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me. Love, Allison Dear God, Are you really invisible or is that a trick? – Lucy
What's worse than 10 babies in one dumpster? 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
A little girl went into the barber shop to get a haircut. When the barber was cutting her hair he realized she was eating a little debbie snack. He said, "Sweetie, you're going to get hair on your twinkie." The little girl answered, "I know, and I'm going to get boobs, too."
A pregnant woman was taking a shower and her three year old daughter said,"Mommy, you're getting fat!"And the mother replied,"That because a baby is growing in my tummy."To which the daughter said,"Yeah,but what's growing in you butt?"
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