Questions concerning love and wisdom were posed to a group of children (ages 5 to 10). Their responses were amazingly astute and very enlightening, thus proving that all we need to know, we probably learned in kindergarten. WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED? "Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don't have to work any more, and you can spend all your time loving each other." (Judy, 8) "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." (Tommy, 5) WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 10) WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? "You should never kiss a

A little boy and his older sister were building paper airplanes when his sister said, "We should stop building planes now and play with the ones we've got. We don't need to waste any more paper." "Why?" "Because if we use too much paper we'll lose all the trees, and everyone will die.." "Because we don't have any paper?"

There were three boys with names Shutup, Manners and Trouble. They were walking around town when they realized Trouble was missing. Shutup and Manners searched and searched but failed to find the missing boy. At a lost, they went up to the Neighbourhood Police Post. Manners had to go to the toilet so Shutup went up and spoke to the policeman there. Policeman=P Shutup=S P: Hi little boy, what's your name? S: Shutup P: What a rude boy! Where are your manners? S: At the toilet P: What are you talking about? Are you looking for trouble here? S: Yes

There was a little boy who had just learned to count on his fingers. One day his uncle came to visit and the boy was anxious to show off his newly acquired skill. He told the uncle to ask him an addition question. So the uncle asked, "What is three plus four?" The little boy counts it out on his fingers and said, "Seven." The uncle said, "Listen kid, you can't count it out on your hands because someday when you are in school, a teacher will get mad at you for it. Now put your hands in your pockets." So the little boy put his hands in his pockets and his uncle asked, "What is five plus five?" The uncle saw movement in the boys pockets, then the boy said, "Eleven."

These two poor kids go to a birthday party at a rich kid's house. The kid is so rich that he has his own swimming pool, and all the kids go in. As they're changing afterwards, one of the poor kids says to the other one, "Did you notice how small the rich kid's penises were?" "Yeah," says his mate, "It's probably because they've got toys to play with."

What do Michael Jackson and plastic bags have in common? They are both made out of plastic and are dangerous for children to play with.

One day my wife was changing my daughter's diaper, and my 3 year old son walked in and saw her and asked, "Mommy, where is her thingy?" I almost had a heart attack, laughing so hard that day.

Little Johnny kept spelling the word "went" wrong, instead he spelt "whent". His teacher, who was very fusterated, decided to keep him after class to spell "went" 100 times. The next day she comes into the classroom, thinking he learned his lesson, and sees the whole board is full of the word "went". But at the end... "I wrote "went" 50 times, then I ran out of space, so I whent home"

Teacher: Alfred, how can one person make so many mistakes in one day? Alfred: I get up early.

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted men. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want him very badly." So Little Johnny asked, "Then why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class. "NO!" the children all answered. "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?" Again, the answer was, "NO!" "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into Heaven?" Again, they all answered, "NO!" "Well," I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?" A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"

Remember this story when they start getting frustrated: My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Matt had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I didn't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Matt, are you sure you did not have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just knew that he must have had,