What do you get when you breed a blonde and a New York gangster? A juvenile deliquent who spray paints chain link fences.

What two things in the air can make a blonde pregnant? Her Legs

Q. How do you kill a blond? A. Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

How do you keep a blonde busy? (see below) How do you keep a blonde busy? (see above)

A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus were invited to a party. On the way, the dumb blonde's car broke down. The smart blonde missed the bus. Two of Santa Claus' reindeer ran away. Who got to the party first? The dumb blonde, because the other two don't exist!

A blonde was recently fired from her cashier job, because she kept stealing money from the register. She went looking for work the next day. A few days later, she came to a man who needed someone. "I'm here for the paint job", the blonde said eagerly. "Alright. Take this paint and brush, and go paint my backyard porch", replied the man. The blonde immediately started painting. After she was done, she decided to do a second coat. When she was finished, she went to the man to get her pay. "I finished it, and did a second coating too! By the way, that's not a Porsche, it's a new BMW".

A blonde was standing in front of a vending machine. She put in a dollar, pushed a button and a coke came out. She put in another dollar, pushed a different button and an iced tea came out. The blonde kept doing this, until the man behind her became impatient. "Excuse me, can I just get a drink, THEN you can continue whatever you're doing???" "No way!" exclaimed the blonde. "I'm not giving up this machine when I'm winning!"

A trucker has just turned a corner on a deserted roadway and was proceeding to change lanes when a blonde in a speedy corvette cut right in front of him almost making him get run off the road. Enraged the trucker sped up and overtook the blonde then forced her to slow down. When the blonde finally stopped the trucker stepped out of his truck, went over the to corvette and yanked the blonde out. He then drew a circle with a piece of chalk he had around the blonde. "If you step outside of this circle, I will kill you. You hear? You just stay right there missy," said the Trucker. The trucker went to his truck and grabbed a wooden bat. He smashed the corvettes windows in and knocked off the rea

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, blondes usually screw in cars!

What do railroad tracks and blondes have in common? They are both laid all over America!

How do you get a blonde to laugh on Friday? Tell her a joke on Monday!

What does a blonde do when she wakes up? She goes home!