One night a bartender who was working at a local joint was very drunk. His fiancee left him a long time ago and he was very desperate so he started using alcohol as a substitute. A little later that night a blond walked in late at night and sat down. The blond was cute young and very flirty. So a little later she started flirting with the bartender. He started to get the drift that she was flirting and started flirting very heavily with her back. A little later she felt something and before she could stand to go to the restroom she had her period right there she quickly sat back and felt mortified praying the bartender did not notice anything. He didn't so she started ordering lots of

Maths teacher asks a blonde girl what comes after 69?" Essex girl replies "you wash your face and rinse your mouth DUH...!"

What's worse than a brunette building a fire under water? A blonde trying to put it out.

A blonde mother runs her own daycare business. She has two of her own kids and has about 15 kids in her daycare. One day the blonde takes the children to the park to play, when a brunette walks up and notices the blonde and her daycare kids. She goes to the blonde and asks her, "Are all these kids yours?" The blonde replies, "No, I have two of my own." The brunette proceeds to ask which two are the blonde's. The blonde laughs and says. "My kids go to the YMCA daycare center." The brunette asks in a puzzled voice, "Why are they there when you run your own daycare?" The blonde looks at her and says, "Because I can't afford what I charge."

How can you tell if a blonde has been in your fridge? There is lipstick on the cucumber

One day little Susie, who is a blond(since this is in the 'blond' category), was at her grandma's house. She had been there for about two days and today grandma isn't feeling very well. The grandma is in bed, coughing and it isn't getting any better. The Grandma tells little Susie to go to the pharmacist and get some syrup for her cough. So little Susie goes to the local pharmacy and she buys the syrup. The clerk tells her to remember to 'SHAKE WELL BEFORE USE'. Susie goes back to the house and moments later, the ambulance has arrived and the doctors are trying their best to save poor granny. When they questioned Susie about what happened, she says "Well, the clerk at the pharmacy and th

Q: How do you keep an idiot busy? A: Have him read this.

If you'd like to know how to keep an idiot busy for hours, go to this page: http://www.wocka.com/joke.php?id=17559

Why do blondes have litlle holes in their faces? From eating with forks!

A man was in his front yard mowing the grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February – Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels . . . Helllloooo!!! . . . bottles won't fit in printer!!! March – Got really excited . . . finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months . . . box said "2-4 years!" April – Trapped on escalator for hours . . .power went out!!! May – Tried to make Kool-Aid . . .wrong instructions . . . 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June – Tried to go water skiing . . . couldn't find a lake with a slope. July – Lost breast stroke swimming competition . . . learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! August – Got locked

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were all about to jump off a cliff. As they jumped, they would yell the name of what they wanted to turn into. The redhead went first. She yelled, "Hawk!" and she turned into a hawk and flew away. The brunette went next. She yelled, "Butterfly!" and she turned into a butterfly and flew away. The blonde went last. As she was about to jump, she tripped, and yelled, "Crap!" As she fell, she turned into a piece of poop.